Saturday, 27 December 2014

0 Agent Of Usrah

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Yes. Usrah. For Malaysian community in Egypt, it is not just a mere word but an obligatory for everyone to at least have one regardless the name used. I personally knew the real meaning of usrah during the last quarter of my secondary school years. Of course it was present in the school yet I am talking about the real system at the first it was introduced by the founder to the community. I felt the difference and perhaps you too would feel the same if you did as what I did.

As for the system, it would be a very boring discussion for the people who like heavy materials for it is too simple to understand. You now why? Because we don't actually care much on the discussion but we do care what to do after the discussion. If someone joins usrah and he doesn't do and move in the society and does as his murabbi, surely he would be bored and inevitably leave the usrah. The challenge is not only to maintain the attendance but to move the idea in the community.

One of the biggest mistakes done by these people is being an usrah secularist. An angle during usrah and the opposite during not usrah. If this happens, the real idea of the system will not succeed because it doesn't be a factory to make people who dare to do the grunt works of Islam or I like to name it as the agent of usrah. What is agent? Someone who acts on behalf of another. We don't want them to wear shirts or pants belong to their groups but to show to the people how the system actually works and succeeds to build amazing persons. The best part is they have nothing so called interest in doing these grunt works for everything will be granted after death where the ultimate glory is present.

So search for it wherever you are!

Friday, 26 December 2014

0 Don't Kill Your Self Esteem By Giving Early High Expectation

بسم الله الرحمن الحيم

Don't believe it until you see by your own naked eyes. In these technology days, informations may come from everywhere that you don't even know. What happens from the most remote area of the world can be percieved by the media. Right statement can be twisted to a totally ridiculous one. Even sometimes you can't even believe what you see for it may be edited or disguised behind something. So horror.

What more dangerous is when we give early expectation before 100-percently sure what we are going to see. If it doesn't suit the actual state, it will tremendously throw away our self esteem. Should we come with nil expectation, no bias will be and everything is going to be fine. The seniors and people who have preceeded us are not always right. They may face different things. Indeed lessons need to be taken from the past experiences but also has to be balanced with nil expectation.

Sometimes things are just going wrong because we have too ideal goal from the time we have our first contact. At the end of the day, the goal never achieved.

Sunday, 7 December 2014

2 Weird Election

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Usually when someone becomes a nominee for a particular election, he/she does so as to win and bring something to serve the community. At the time he/she makes the decision he/she should already have support from at least number of persons in the community. Having said that, the election that currently running in my place now is quite weird. The nominee is partially forced to participate and I am forced to be the penyokong

So irony.

Saturday, 6 December 2014

0 Don't Be Too Hard On Your Thought

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Everbody has their own way of thinking and solving problems. The difference is something inevitable, it has to be encountered fairly. A wise man will see every obstacles before him as a steeping stone to do and be better. On the other hand, a small minded man only expects good things to indulge him all the way of his journey. Being in a peace, common-thought community is honestly very boring. No resistance, conflict nor dispute to be encountered. Usually the community will be passive and feel content with their possessions. A growing community has miscellaneous manners and contradictory activities but despite all that, this community grows faster for they always meet something new from the opposite sides.

We are not searching for mistakes nor differences, yet we are seeing and approaching the already present contrast as a diversity. We never find a place with no difference in thoughts, even the scholars have their debate. Just don't be too hard on your thought. Be consistent and have your principles but be tolerant and open minded. In the future we will surely see and meet these people again who we strongly resist and this time we will see them as partners for any reason. If we have no good relationship, how do we proceed our bigger agenda to build the country? If you can do it alone, silakan.

Monday, 1 December 2014

0 Egyptians And Arabs Are Good Friends

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

I have few Arab friends. Yeah, it's friend not mere acquaintances. Excluding the ustaz and ustazah in the Markaz Lughah where I study my Arabic language, my landlord, former naqib and people in the mosques, I have an Egyptian friend and one from Somalia. I meet them almost everyday since everbody lives and works around the same place.

The younger is the Somali named Abdul Qadir. He is my junior in the university. I like to have coversations with him for it is in Arabic fusha (the original Arabic), easy to speak and understand. Went to his house once for a visit. His room was quiet unclean and unorganized. Yeah, normal for a guy. Despite of that, he is personally a tidy guy. Each time I see him, he is wearing a formal shirt.

The Egyptian is Ibrahim. He works in a building besides Bashandi restaurant. He does business in sports and some medical tools. Physically appeared as a good islamist with long beard and sometimes he is the imam in the Al-Hidayah mosque. He always has my respect. Since he memorize all the 30 juz of Al-Quran I am always reminded to do the same. Perk of being an Arab, you can easily remember and understand Al-Quran.

I still can't accept the norm of Malaysians in Egypt who don't want to be friends closely with the locals. One of the famous reasons is for safety. I completely agree with that but it doesn't have to be the barier that totally hinders our relationship with the locals. What the benefits of study in overseases if we don't mix and change thoughts, culture and language with others. Instead of having most of the time with persatuan, why don't we try to do something out of the norm? I also hate Egyptians generally but I do like to be friends with them.

Friday, 28 November 2014

0 End Round Is Around The Corner

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

4 days left before the written end round exam of Forensic and Toxicology. Yeah, it is just an end round by the way. Chapters included are less than half of the curriculum. That was my first thought on the end round exam. But then after counting all the marks, it actually covers quarter of the total marks, a quite huge amount. Fortunately forensic is quite interesting. Toxicology.... it would be more interesting if seen practically. I asked once the doctor during a lab session about the procedure to do gastric lavage with cuffed endotracheal tube. Her answer made me feel down adding my not-interested feeling on toxicology. Haha. "You don't have to know this, just go to ER."

One more thing about forensic, I still don't understand why I have to study the gun powder and seeds in (quite) details. It was fun by the way but I don't see the crucial needs for that. Ahh, just study and sit for the exam. You will use it one day. Yes, one day. Just be optimistic. Or at least it gives you some new informations and topics to discuss about. Err, who likes to discuss about seeds?

Monday, 24 November 2014

0 Reflection

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Humans do mistakes everyday. Our prophet has said the fact in one of his hadith. On top of that, Allah provides us a space to correct those mistakes. The space is called taubah. See how huge His mercy is. Even in Quran Allah said that He will replace all the sins we make into good deeds if we use and benefit the space well.

The mirror that we daily see before going to class shouldn't only be used to see ourselves physically but even more internally and spiritually. Being a human that naturally does sins everyday, you won't be able to save yourself without surrounding people to remind you. It is more than necessary to have good friends especially in this time where sins could be easily contaminated every seconds unconsciously. Looking at the mirror, I do realize that I have nothing to show in front of my Creator. My deeds are so lame and too far from the requirements of the Jannah. Despite those regrets, I still continuosly cultivate my heart with the jahiliah stuffs. That's why we need reflection and reminder to remind us from being too far.

Do remind me. Please do it. I am badly craving for it.

Saturday, 18 October 2014

0 Stay Away From Dunya Before It Eats You

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

The word dunya is an Arabic word derived from another Arabic word called dana which means low or inferior. It shows how low the value of dunya is. While the word akhira means end or termination in which there will be nothing after it. Frankly saying, when there is something bigger and eternity why should we choose the temporary one? It is like slowly and silently killing yourself.

Last year was the most too-much-playing year for me. What I did was fooling around and doing whatever I wanted by my own selfish favour. It seemed that 20 years life was not enough to mature me. Regret moment is enough and I am now 21 years, old enough I think to be a man. The key is to not have too much intact with dunya or it will stick to you and hinder you from moving. 

The right way to face dunya is to be friend with it in the frame of akhira. Some are still confused and consider that they are dealing with dunya in term of akhira but are actually not. Because we have to always remember another guy that never even a second neglects to make us feeling good doing bad things.

The heart. Yes. We need a pure, virgin heart to make it to the end gloriously.

Sunday, 12 October 2014

0 I Would Be First To Be Caught

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Everybody is enjoying bone soup in my room. 

One of us looks at my bookshelf, "Daus, if police comes into this house you would be the first to be caught. Your books have so many elements of ikhwan."

"If police comes, we would be in jail together," I replied.

"Of course not, it's you who own those books."

"I would say that I bought them from you."

Sorry I can't resist reading those books since I fell in love with ikhwan few years ago.

0 I Need A Replacement

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Ratchet's tragedy was quite tragic for me but I was still able to stay cool in spite of the fact that it happened during Ramadhan, the Holy month. I accepted it as a test for me and just washed it away from my head to keep moving faster forward. So I need to live my life as the prior-Ratchet era. Using train, bus and microbus every week. I need to spare much time for each trip and be more fit. I was ready for that but the preparations were all in my head and imagination. Now, I am facing it in reality and things don't really run as I expected.

Suprisingly, the frequency for me to use Ratchet rises to double. Literally I have to spare double time for each trip and to be double fit than before. This situation unlikely forces me to think about Ratchet and makes me feel like having a replacement. Ratchet costs 2 months and a half of my scholarship. To get a new Ratchet, it would be more than that in the midst of many crisis currently happening in Egypt.

Now, I have to make a choice. To get a replacement or to be a superman. I still don't know which one should I choose.

Monday, 29 September 2014

0 The Medicine Of Multi Is Unity

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Currently since few months ago, political stage in Malaysia becomes hot. One side attacks the other side. Friend becomes enemy. Everybody seems to be selfish and busy thinking about their own party and interest ignoring what they chosen for during the last PRU 13. As the supporters, they always want to raise their party regardless what happens. What their party says are always correct and the one who doesn't want to hear and follow them is a traitor and needs to be excluded immediately.

I don't want to write about politics. I am not planning for joining politics and I don't expert in politics to give good views or comments regarding it. But as a member of democatic country like Malaysia, I have my right to say anything and give building comments as long as it is not provocation-based. 

Malaysia is a multicultural, multireligious, and multiraces country. From the word multi, differences and conflicts can't be avoided. Even a unirace country has to counter the same problem. Again the word multi is not just a word, it does carry a or more than a meaning. Majority doesn't make us better than other, minority doesn't make them be ignored and treated unfairly or double-standardly. Just you are muslim and Malay, you are no difference with them in term of owning Malaysia. Everbody has the same ownership of Malaysia.

As everbody owns Malaysia, then everbody needs to play roles to build it. No need to be a hero to individually develop Malaysia. If you do so, you would take others right and making things work ineffectively. Why don't we just work together and coalesce strength, expertise and power to eliminate those who threaten our country. Please don't say the reason you can't work together is because they are non-muslim. That is not just totally a shit reason, but it would cultivate a bad perception on Islam. I don't know what your Islam has taught you.

Don't be so obsessed with your leaders even they are called ulama. Umar Al-Khattab was critizied by a woman and he was still being cool and accepted it. That was during he was a khalifa of muslim. Being a leader or ulama doesn't make you a superman. You don't have power to change things. A leader just guides people to the right way that has already created by God not by himself. Unconditional obedience to a human is not a healthy way of politics, that is the right of Allah and His messenger. I am afraid that we would always be in the same place as we were years before and be happy with that.

Politics is not like praying. It doesn't have its specific methods and needs to be renewed according to situations. Simply taking old muslim scholar's views literally to be implemented today is not the right way to play politics. Different situations, different problems and different times need to be resolved with different ways.

Don't be too obsessed with your religion that I don't know what kind of understanding you have. If we really want to practice the islamic ways, unity should be the priority. Not confined to our community or muslims, but unity with all Malaysians. Some have mixed their religious matters with politics in a wrong way. Just remember the word multi and you know you are not the only one who want peace and good to Malaysia.

Again, I am not interested with the current political atmosphere in Malaysia. It smells malignancy and hatred. Some may feel happy for their party has won the fight. But if you are big hearted, you don't fight for your own party yet for Malaysia. What I see is Malaysia has lost. But that was the story. I am always looking for a better and mature future of Malaysia, biiznillah.

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

1 Getting Older

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

When I was a junior in secondary school, I was afraid to get older. I didn't want to hold many responsibilities and wanted to just play happily with my friends. I didn't want to leave my school and friends. But then after being a senior and 'graduated', I realized that the best moment in school was during form 5. It was the maturity made it a joy, knowing what to do and why I did it. That's the ultimate perk.

In my university years, I had wanted from the first day to be a senior. Haha. I was thinking being a junior made me couldn't do many things. I had to 'respect' the seniors and to 'follow' what they told me to do. Junior kot. After some times, I didn't care about those things. I just did what I wanted, ignoring people around me. Unfortunately, that was my biggest mistake. I ignored people around me and arrogantly thought that I was the only one who knew everything. Lulz. Sakai.

That's life. It changes. The most important thing is what you learn from the past. If I am given a chance to go back to the past, the only reason I would do so is to refrain myself from doing sins and not to pollute my thought with negative thinking. Other than that is not worthy. I don't want to lose all the precious experiences I had. Those are the most valuable properties I have that have shaped myself today.

Today is 17 September 2014. 21 years before at 0930, I was born into this world. Alhamdulillah for all the ni3mah given by Him and always gives me chances to repent from all the sins I made.

Tuesday, 9 September 2014

0 Be An Expert In Your Field

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Two weeks ago, after had a two days daurah, we went to Dr Ikram's house in Seksyen 15 Bandar Baru Bangi. Had a long and fruitfull chat. He shared a lot and I heard a lot. And actually that was the first time for me visiting a doctor among pakcik-pakcik. One of his best words that I couldn't hold to laugh was, "taking over an organization is our specialty, we did it a lot" Haha, true enough I think.

Because it looked like I was too dominant asking questions to him, I kept slowing down. Things became worse, instead of letting the situation filled with cricket's sound, I rather asked more questions. Until the final question I asked him, "would you give us an advise as medical students?" 

He replied, "be the best medical student, be an expert. One of the reasons why we can still hold good positions until today is because we have the quality, people have the trust on us. When you have the quality people will find you."

That was more than enough to make me feel like a lazy crap that didn't put best effort in this field. Don't think of bigger things if you can't be an expert in your own field. Masuk clinical years dah pun.

Sunday, 7 September 2014

0 The Closest

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

You may be very good in front of society and you may be the best in your community to be pointed as a leader. People respect you, your knowledge, leadership and manners. Each problem will be refered to you. Usrah, 2 usrah are just too normal. At least must be three. Everbody always loves to hear your speeches, very convincing and couraging.

But then, you always forget the one who sits closest to you. When it comes to their turn, you don't put your best on it. If a whole night could be spent just to strategize how to get your classmate back to the right way, why couldn't you do the same for them.

'And warn your closest kindred' [26:214]

It is maybe quite hard, but what other choice do you have? Indeed the best thing is to see them together doing what you believe.

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

0 We Are Believers

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Muslim and non-muslim are truly different. The muslims believe in the hereafter. It is not just a mere believe and say "I believe in the presence of the hereafter." Sure not that easy. We also believe the Qadha' and Qadar with the real believe, not just verbally say it. And that is why we are called the believers because we believe those things that other people don't.

When something happens regardless its benefit or harm, it happens for a reason. The planets don't just simply move in their orbits without controlled by a power above them. We never believe that a book can be wrtitten by itself, so do the planets. We are believers that believe the truth without merely inherit it from our ancestors. We believe because the truth is only believed by wise people. We are the people.

Abu Bakar As-Siddiq, Umar Al-Khattab, Amr Al-'Ash, Khalid Al-Walid. They are wise people. They are somebody and hold good positions in their clans. The deen is not for the weak, it is for the best people. We should never feel scared or ashamed to offer this deen to the highest people in a group. If he denies it then he is not worth for that position for he is not wise enough.

We are strong for we are believers.

نحن قوم أعزنا الله بالإسلام

Friday, 25 July 2014

0 Misfortune Of Being Shortest Guy Among Siblings

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

One day in a car, Mama told everyone that we are going to balik kampung to Terengganu soon. Unfortunately, the Proton Saga was too small for 3 guys(me, my big brother and a little brother) to seat at the back in a long-distance journey. Since all of us have grown up, it would be very lenguh sitting at the back for at least 6 hours. Everybody started to think the solution of this problem.

Abah then gave a suggestion, "One of you guys should go with Kak Long. She is going to Terengganu on the same day as we do."

Mama added, "Ah yes. Someone has to go with Kak Long, he can also play with Zhariff."

Another question raised. Who is going to be the one goes with Kak Long?

After a discussion, a decision agreed. Since I was the shortest among us, I was the one chosen. I will always blame my little brother for being taller than me, he shouldn't!

Thursday, 24 July 2014

0 "At Least We Do Something"

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

The concept of "at least we do something" is not simply applicable in all circumstances. Many have confused in understanding and using this concept. In case of house fire, if there is no ambulance or people to help you, then you have to do anything you could even if it doesn't seem to help you much in removing the fire. For you would surely die if you do nothing. As in case of dealing with a smoker, if direct talking is apparently suitable in that particular situation, it should be done then. However should the smoker would likely hard to accept words, another action need to be taken, not just doing anything under the reason of "at least we do something".

Steps taken should be wise and productive. Blindly put efforts to wrong places will only waste strengths in which can be used for other occasions. That action not only wastes energy and strength, also badly abuse people. Life in this globe only last for 60 years. In this period of time, we can't do much. Strengths need to be managed efficiently. Don't just be happy living with your numbers of works. 

Think. Plan. Manage. Move.

Tuesday, 22 July 2014

0 A Letter To Ratchet

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Dear Ratchet.

It was just a few minutes before Maghrib, I was told by my friend that you had been kidnapped. I didn't react much, just asked my friend how did it happen. He told me that the lock was being cut and it happened before Fajr.

To be grief is too mainstream and even can't bring you back. Police report couldn't be made because I didn't yet get you a plate number that I had planned to do after I reach 21. To blame anyone is also useless although I could smell an odour of reckless in the one I asked to keep you.

However, thing has happened. Your loss reminds me to my iPod that I had lost it after only a month from our acquaintance. It was 4 months ago since we first met. I still remember how I could fall in love with you from the first sight. It seems like our relationship is too short to come to its end. I am just started to know yourself, but He loves His servant more. He doesn't want me to love you more than Him. 

I will always remember our moments together. Thank you for accompany me going to daurah and usrah. Thank you for being my best friend for 4 months and kept doing so despite many hard times we had together.

I pray that you will be a good partner with your new friend and that he will get a lesson from what he has done.

Farewell my friend!

Your best friend,
Firdaus Rahim.

Monday, 21 July 2014

0 Don't Tell Me What To Do

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Ego at its limit.

People don't have the right to correct you when you do wrong. It seems like you don't know mistakes, you are preserved. 

What are the uses of those stuffs called live in a group and syura, then? Oh maybe you have a better rules of your own. Go on and see what would happen.

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

0 I Met Freedom In A Plane

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

On my way to Muscat for 9-hour transit before going to Malaysia, I had a small talk with a middle age woman. I actually wanted to go to toilet but since all the toilets were occupied I waited on a coincidentaly empty seat beside the woman. She looked like an Arab, so I had my conversation in Arabic.

This conversation is in full Arabic

"Assalamualaikum, where are you going madam?"

"Waalaikumussalam, I am going to Muscat."

"You just transit there or it is your destination?"

"I am going there."

"You work there or just visiting someone."

"Oh I want to visit my sister there."

"Hmm, are you an Egyptian?"

"No, I am from Sudan and live in Egypt. Sometimes I go back to Sudan like you do going back to Malaysia."

"Hehe. Where do you live in Egypt? I live in Sayyeda Zeinab."

"Really? I also live there near Saad Zaghloul Metro station."

"Ah, very close to my house. Maybe I can have a visit there someday."

"You have a good Arabic." (This is a typical sentence I got)

"Thank you, I have lived in Egypt for there years. Oh yes, may I know what is your name?"

"My name is Hurriyyah(in English means freedom)"

"My name is Firdaus."

After a 15-minute conversation, I am no more feel to go to toilet besides the toilets were still occupied. Maybe because there were many babies.

Sunday, 6 July 2014

0 Let's Call It A Happy Ending

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

10.20 a.m from home, going to exam with a blue ProjeKita t-shirt. At the entrance of Parasitology department, a list of names and groups were placed for reference. Saw my name at the last  row of group 4, did my signature with the assistant and went to room for group number 4. It was Dr Azza, a doctor that always has smile on her face.

Me: Assalamualaikum, good morning doctor.

Dr Azza: Good morning, have a seat. Pick one card.

First card was Ancylostoma duodenale.

Dr Azza: Do you know anything about Ancylostoma duodenale? Give me the clinical picture of disease caused by it.

Me: Yes, it's a hookworm. At the site of penetration, there is skin rash. During migration of the larva, pneumonitis occurs and in intestine it causes bleeding, diarrhea and also anemia in blood.

Dr Azza: Good. Is it commonly occur with farmers?

Me: Yes.

Dr Azza: Very good. Okay let's pick another card.

The second card was unexpectedly Ancylostoma again, but this time is Ancylostoma brazilliense.

Dr Azza: Ah, you are so lucky today. You got Ancylostoma again. Okay, so what's the clinical picture caused by cutaneous larva migrans?

Me: Also skin rash at the site of penetration but it can't go further beyond the germinal layer. A serpiginous tunnel could be seen subcutaneously with allergy reaction and itching.

Dr Azza: Congratulations, thank you.

With smile on her face she let me go home.

I think this is the end of my three years pre-clinical course. Three and a half years left for clinical course. May everything become ease and be able to serve society with the best service.

Three years and a half is quite long, huh?

Thursday, 3 July 2014

0 Sometimes You Just Need To Be Alone

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

The time when you don't want to be disturbed, you want to make your own stuffs without any help or others concern. It is not that you don't accept others kindness or being selfish on yourself nor feeling independent. It is just the need to be alone, calming yourself from the outside world and taking some moment to rearrange and stack things all over again. Those things are only can be made alone. 

At that moment, people should understand and avoid from disturbing you. However life doesn't go like that. You can't be selfish and expect others to understand you. First is to understand before being understood. Unless it is life involved, you have to prioritize others. But again life doesn't ideally be like that. You just can't be very nice all the time. There is still a time when you become selfish despite many bad things might happen.

Ramadhan should educate you to be a better person. If it is not this time, when it would be?


Today is the anniversary of Morsi's oust. Streets are busy with marches. I have katibah tonight at Nasr City but the situation seems not too good for me to go there. So let's having katibah at home. Hehe. Please pray for Egypt and currently-attacked Gaza and Syria. Allahumman surhum 3anil kafirin.

Monday, 30 June 2014

0 Different

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Different thing has to be treated differently. That's why it is called different. You cannot just simply judge someone using a same scale as you do to others. Some people can live with one dollar but some even cannot live with 100 dolars. Justice means to put something in its right place, not equalize everything. Same thing occuring in different situation also has to be treated differently. Many things have to be considered.

To treat different things differently is an easy thing. To differentiate two different things as two unlike substances is not easy. You need a lot of knowledge and experiences. Things are not black and white nowadays, they are rather full of colors. If you are color-blind, you will be screwed.

Things are just not the same. Stop generalizing.

Saturday, 28 June 2014

1 These People Are Worth Be Friend

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

You can see many kind of people in this globe. All of them have their own special distinct characteristics. Some are good and some are unfortunately not. Friend is a word best to describe people who are always willing to share common and uncommon things. They put away all the differences and try their best finding mutualities between them. They are not just mere people who you can laugh and have fun with, not only those who always pay for your lunch and dinner. 

More substantially, they share the same problems and happiness. Their problems are your problem, not because they are your friends so they have to know your problems yet because their mind and though are just like yours. You don't have to tell everything and they know already. When you see and meet these people you become different, your soul, heart and spirit become stronger. By just looking at them, you can see their eyes filled with sincerity. No matter how far you be, distance never seperate you with these people.

When you see these people, quickly grab and hold them tight undoubtly. You never know when you could see them again.

Friendship is about give and take. One party will be exhausted if keep giving without a reply and it is not enough to always demand without a pay.

Thursday, 26 June 2014

0 The Awaited Guy

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Nobody knows where he lives but for sure, he will come and meet people annually. He is not too tall nor short, just nice for a handsome guy. With beard and side comb hairstyle, make him a complete package to be a crush for every girl. His presence brings happiness and blessing, not just to people who know him yet also who don't. Before he comes, he will tell everyone that he will do so. Months before he comes, people have prepared everything to welcome him. Several preparations be it physical or spiritual, all are made just to have a good time with him.

Some people however don't really mind the presence of him. Before, during or after his presence are the same, nothing different. In fact, some are doing something to insult him purposely. All those things never affect him. He doesn't need people to please him. He will always come although there is nobody accepting him. People are the ones who need him. The climax moment is the time when he is just going to leave. At that time, his blessings at its limit. Whatever people ask will be granted. After he leaves, people who welcome and treat him good are the happiest person in the earth. They will absolutely miss and hoping to meet him again next time. As for the other group, they are the most unlucky people. Everything that they should have had are wasted.

And believe or not, he will be coming in about three days. Oh my God! I have not made a proper preparation yet! Better yet start it now or you will regret soon.

Oh by the way, his name is Ramadhan. 

Ahlan ya Ramadhan :)

Saturday, 21 June 2014

0 Dejavu

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Early in the morning at 6, I went to Musallas, a place just after Hayyu Asyir from the direction of Gami3 Salam. Accompanying my friend for his business with ustaz living there, I just realized that I had been there few times before. When my friend asked whether I know the place or not, I answered "no but had heard before" but actually that was a dejavu that came in my mind deep from my previous memory.

I had come here before, about 6 months ago. There was the headquater of ikhwah Thailand and I had usrah few times there with my former Egyptian naqib, Dr Fadhil. Currently all of my usrah members are going seperated, some still I am connecting with and some are not. About Dr Fadhil, I wonder where he is right now. I never heard any news about him after the coup. I sent a message to him but got no reply. Anything might happen, maybe he is in prison, or killed during the Rabaa incident. 

I hope he is in a good condition. On the way back, I passed before his yellow apartment building beside KFC that I regret for not even once went there. Seriously I miss having usrah with Arab. Don't know if I could have the second chance.

Wednesday, 18 June 2014

0 Marchin On

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

For those days we felt like a mistake,
Those times when loves what you hate,
We keep marching on.

For those nights when I couldn't be there,
I've made it harder to know that you know,
That somehow,
We'll keep moving on.

There's so many wars we fought,
There's so many things were not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

For all of the plans we've made,
There isn't a flag I'd wave,
Don't care if we bend,
I'd sink us to swim,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

For those doubts that swirl all around us,
For those lives that tear at the seams,
We know,
We're not what we've seen,

For this dance we'll move with each other.
There ain't no other step than one foot,
Right in front of the other.

There's so many wars we fought,
There's so many things we're not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

For all of the plans we've made,
There isn't a flag I'd wave,
Don't care if we bend,
I'd sink us to swim,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right,
We're marching on.

We'll have the days we break,
And we'll have the scars to prove it,
We'll have the bonds that we save,
But we'll have the heart not to lose it.

For all of the times we've stopped,
For all of the things I'm not.

We put one foot in front of the other,
We move like we ain't got no other,
We go when we go,
We're marching on.

There's so many wars we fought,
There's so many things we're not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, left, right,
Right, right,
We're marching on.

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, left, right,
Right, right,
We're marching on.


I miss marching during school, I miss GMJ, I miss doing any kind of marching. As you are marching, you don't look back and keep moving forward despite of many obstacles in front. That's why I love marching.

Monday, 16 June 2014

2 If Microb Is A Silent Killer, Pharma Is An Apparent Slaughterer

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

I know everybody felt the same thing. The worst 3 hour torture in an exam hall. I think the doctors have planned it. The midyear and the first paper were easy but the second paper was crazy, so many first-time-heard drugs. 

Pharma has taught me the meaning of life. Now I understand the value of this temporary life that I have lost it. I wish I was a cat having 9 lives. May Allah give me and all my friends success here and in the afterlife.

Wednesday, 11 June 2014

0 Sexual Harassment Is Just For Sissies

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

This morning while I was scrolling my fb timeline, a link from FJP website popped out with title فيديو التحرش فضيحة شوهت تنصيب السيسي (Sisi's inauguration marred by a video showing apparent sexual assault). The news was actually from the newspaper Times. I watched the video (it's 18SX btw) and had no idea of what was happening. It was happened in Tahrir, just a few kilometers from my place. A girl was surrounded by a group of men (they don't deserve to be men) doing something inappropiate and made the girl naked. I have no idea what did other people there at that time do when they saw the incident.

Last week also Egypt's government issued a new anti-sexual harassment law following many cases occured lately in Egypt. I also did read a survey regarding sexual harassment in Egypt and it said more than 90% of women in Egypt had experienced sexual harassment verbally or physically. And suprisingly, I can't believe that I am living in this country right now and for the next 3 and a half years.

Although I rarely being a mushrif, I really feel the need for girls not to walk alone especially at night, at least with other girl if no mushrif.

What is happening to you Egypt. The mofti says that Sisi deserves to be a president but the consequences say not. I always hope that this country will be the real 'ummu dunya' like people always claim. May Allah bless all the people who are consistently trying to change and build a new Egypt. They are really strong and real men, not like those sissies on the streets.

Thursday, 5 June 2014

0 My Dearest Blood Relatives

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

My fb timeline today is full of anniversary wishes. I don't know why but it seems that 5 June is a celebrated day for many of my friends and also not be forgotten the anniversary of my second sister's wedding. It was 3 years ago and it was also the only family wedding out of four that I attended. It is a common thing for me to not involve in many family activities. Besides of the fact that I stayed in hostel since secondary school, my relation to my family was not really intimate. The hardest thing in mutabaah amal during I was in school was to call my parents. It was extremely rare for me to merely call my parents for just making small talks. I only called my father to pick me up from hostel once per two or four weeks, "Assalamualaikum Abah, erm hari ni balik wajib, boleh la datang lepas solat jumaat."

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde character utterly suited me. I was Dr Jekyll at home and Mr Hyde at hostel. I didn't tell almost all activities I did at hostel to my parents and sometimes even I kept my examination results without telling them. So my father to me was only as my driver to school and my mother as a maid cooking food for me. Okay that sounds too iniquitous. Lulz. 

But then study abroad has taught me many things. One of it is to love my family. Calling parents is no more an alien thing for me. Now I understand why calling parents is often included in mutabaah amal. Family is not just a mere group of people implanted in the same uterus. It is a give from a minute portion of His mercy. Thanks Allah for this precious give.

it should be nine, Kak Dayah was missing

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

0 A Night

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Tonight Sisi's comrades make a noise in the street with horn's sound and waving Egypt's flag while shouting something to do with Sisi. They celebrate Sisi's predictable victory in the presidential election last week. Since my apartment is near to Tahrir, it is often to hear such celebration. Newspapers full of Sisi's picture with oodles of compliments. I had being scolded last week when I was reading a newspaper without paying first, "If you want to read please pay one pound first!" Ceh, I didn't want to read and see the traitor's face and I have bored seeing his face everywhere in the street. In Egypt, newspapers are only worth buying for book wrapper or making a table cover. The contents are sucks.

Tonight my head crowded with many stuffs. A lot of things to be done almost alone. I think I need someone to help me doing these things, of course it doesn't necessarily have to be a girl. I can do it alone and it is much better to do alone sometimes, I don't have to consider others opinion and things gonna be faster. But this time, I need a partner. I have an exam tomorrow and I don't even finish half of the final exam. I need to focus, brother.

Sunday, 1 June 2014

0 Emphysema Emphysema Emphysema

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

First question today, "Describe the gross and microscopic features of emphysema"

I took my pen, opened the answer book and jotted down the answer happily. But then when it came to the microscopic picture, everything went blank.

"Wait a minute, I think I just remembered this thing..."

After the exam finished, I asked a girl beside me, "Syidah, ape microscopic picture emphysema?"

She made a weird face, "arteries are compressed, walls are thinned...". I know the face showed the question was so easy that I shouldn't forget.

How could I forget the damn easy answer. I expected respiratory system would be easy. 

Anyway it is over. Thanks to our dean, Prof Hussein for visiting us today despite of his busy schedule. I knew it because he went into the exam hall with a phone in his hand.

I am not gonna forget this microscopic picture of emphysema. Several papers ahead. All is well.

Friday, 30 May 2014

0 Let's Have A Great Life

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

First paper of Pathology is going to be on the day after tomorrow. Final exam will end on 6 July. Five days after that I am going back to Malaysia. This summer in Malaysia is going to be awesome. So please keep on tract. Your comrades are waiting. A lot of things to do, a lot of things to enjoy.

Let's have a great life and prosper!

Wednesday, 28 May 2014

0 Our Society Terribly Needs Proper Education

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

The Cadbury-porcine issue has now been very ridiculous. It shows what is the level of our society's understanding in relegion matter. And sadly, their level is almost amature. I never thought the idea of cleaning mouth with mixture of water and soil would come out from their mind, also to do blood haemolysis to remove the remnants of the porcine. More suprisingly, the ridiculous ideas came out in international news. Damn this is so embrassing. They use the name of Islam as if they are fighting for something right. Yet actually they are just cultivating bad perceptions on Islam. With many other provocating issues against non-muslim, the pyramid of islamophobia becomes bigger and bigger everyday.

The idea of cleaning with soil came out from them because they understand Islam particularly, not comprehensively. All they know is when there is a contact with porcine or dog, it must be washed 7 times plus one time with soil. They don't know the essence and the idea of the deen (read:relegion). The deen is not just a ritual events, it is the solution of all problems and it is everything in this life. We can't blame them. In Malaysia when we say 'kelas agama' it will be equal to 'kelas fiqh' or if it is not, people will keep asking about hukum halal and haram. They just want to know what is halal and haram. Now I know why did Hassan Al-Banna write Usul 20. His writing solves many issues and he tried to bring people away from the argument of 'furu' discussion and lead to the main issue of deen.

People don't simply practice something when they know it is halal or haram. Smoking is obviously haram, not wearing hijab is more perspicuously haram, watching pornography, drug abuse, etc. Those are more clear not-to-do things that people do everyday. People will practice something when it becomes their life principle. When deen doesn't be their passion, the halal-haram is just a mere fact that they can simply do or put it off.

When the branches become bigger than the roots, the tree will collapse.

Wednesday, 14 May 2014

0 Pedantic

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Pedantry, or a person who profoundly concerns about every minute details regarding particular things. Every angle, every side, every section need to be explained academically with proven evidence. Otherwise the fact or the study is useless and nonsense. I am not against this thing. In fact, some studies like medicine really need these details. We wouldn't be able to eradicate polio virus if the study of it didn't reach until cellular level and tetanus might still be a fatal, creepy disease to humanity today. Those are the merits of profound study in medicine that we couldn't dismiss nor deny.

On the other hand, in some fields, pedantic might be misery. The most apparent field is religion. In such case it would be more to burden the learner instead of help. People may feel satisfied with the knowledge but will eventually make them confuse. I am saying in the context of  person who wants to know about the law of particular matter that is out of his daily practice. For the researchers, it is more than the need for that.

What will be the worry is that people start to forget the essence or the goal of the studies. They put the details and the academic parts before the studies themselves. They are just cycling around the same circle. At this level the process of learning is no more regarded as education, rather it is making a robot. Education should cover more than our mind. 

I admire a qoute from a Turkish scholar, Fethullah Gulen;

Science is to perceive the reality of science,
Science consists in knowledge of the self,
If, then, you do not know yourself,
I wonder what kind of education you have had.

The more you study the more human you should be. That is the golden rule. Sometimes you don't need the details to be a great human.

Monday, 12 May 2014

0 Praises Are Toxic

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

I don't like to be praised or receive any kind of compliment. It is actually a very great silent killer. Without denying the importance of it, most of the time it is toxic to our soul. If you want to give a compliment to me, please do it far behind me and never before me. I have had many of the toxic praises during my school ages. It was 'great' being famous and respected by fellows. Receiving letters from the girls and name being mentioned by them. At the end of the day, you get nothing. This is not a session of self praising, this is a session of regret and reflect.

I rather consider criticism instead of praise a present.

Sunday, 4 May 2014

0 Little Kids

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

There were two little Egyptian kids praying in a mosque. I went over them and asked the older-looking one, "what are you doing?"


"Praying what? Zuhur?"


"How many rakaat did you pray?"

"Hmm. 3."

"Zuhur prayer should be 3 rakaat."

He smiled. :)

Saturday, 3 May 2014

0 You Can't Force People To Be Like You

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

People when they achieve something pleasure they will tend to share and make others to feel the same. I still remember when I was in standard 4, I won a medal for a marathon running. Just after I went home I was really eager to tell it to my mother and she was very excited to hear that, I think she just made it to celebrate me. Heh. Technically it will be like that. When we grow up, our mind and maturity improve and we have a better control to share things to others compared to a child that can even share his story to an absolute stranger, that has made them cute and talkative. Haha.

Sometimes when someone in a high position or grade, he will feel something insufficient in a lower grade person. Then the higher grade person(HGP) tries to 'fix' and 'elevate' the lower grade person(LGP) to a higher level. The outcome is either he will be certainly elevated or unfortunately lowered. If the result is the former, we can greatly thank him but if it is the later and most probably it is, the LGP just being a victim to a 'concerned' HGP. This consequence is very common occuring in a society and even in my community, of course as I am not that great bookworm to know very well about others society.

The thing is because the HGP thinks he is always better than the LGP. I am not saying this in a bad way. For example when someone gets a good result in exam, he will surely feel that it's the best thing to achieve. So the unsuccesfull person will be seen as a person that is fail and not yet achieve what should he have. The problem is not on the result but on what success means. Today our mind and interest are converged to one matter. Every particular thing is seen as one meaning and other than that is false. That's why the concern of the HGP has made him try to make the LGP be just like him. Finally this society will be full of robots of the same way of thinking.

I have seen how Arab people live particularly in Egypt. Logically, I never believed how could this people dominate the world in the past. The habits and morals scream for a life-time third world society, okay that's too much. However believe or not, the fact that this society had stood above others can never be denied. What I see is typical persons can achieve success, they can have good results, being loved by people and seen as an idol to others. Yet they can never be extraordinary. To be so you have to be atypical, in a good way of course. If not, Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg had graduated with first class degree.

Don't force people to be like you. They are not fail, they are great but in a different way. Maybe they are even better than you. As long as it's not aqidah-related, it's okay to be different.

Sunday, 27 April 2014

0 It's Nearly May, Means Exam Is Approaching

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

May is equal to exam marathon and reading medical books intensively. The most important thing is feeling of being a real doctor because only during this time normally students will understand well of what they've learnt in the whole year. Haha.

Speaking about the exam, it reminds me to the examination system nowadays especially used by conventional-system university as mine, Cairo University. The system drives and forces students to get the best grade by any means because the only way to have the title 'excellent student' is by getting great result during the exam. No matter how good you are in lecture, only the result can determine your 'excellent'. That's the reality.

For me, being a good doctor and an exam scorer are two different matters. A good doctor is not supposedly an exam scorer and vice versa. To be a good doctor is one thing and being an exam scorer is another thing. Of course, there are some things intersected in between. Not all questions and facts memorized in the exam will be used during practising medicine. There are so many micro things to be remembered in medicine and I am pretty sure that those things are not used as a doctor in a real life. I mean, as a junior doctor. Yet, the more you know the better you are.

To be a good doctor, you must know what is need as a good doctor. Clinical skills, basic examination, basic medical knowledge, etc. To be an exam scorer you need a good memory and a good preparation during the exam, you can even be a scorer although you remember nothing for the rest of the year. As long as you get prepared, you will have flying colors result. So, make a choice. Which want do you prefer, an exam scorer or a good doctor, or even both. I never say being a scorer is bad, just being only a scorer is bad because you only have the knowledge during certain period of time. At the end of the day, you can't apply it in life. You can't answer questions because you don't read the particular part yet.

My exam will officially start on 30 April 2014, Pharmacology practical exam. Please pray for me.

Thursday, 24 April 2014

0 The Wooden Crutches

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the abyss of darkness,
I stand up, try to stand still,
Fall, get up, fall, get up,
And the cycle keeps repeating.

Comes a group of people with a new hope,
Bringing along crutches,
A new strength,
A new spirit.

With the crutches,
I am no longer need the people,
I could stand by my own feets,
I thought.

Termites favour the wooden crutches,
Eaten day by day,
The osteoporotic woods have no more profit,
Left with their plastic arm.

Other people are still standing,
With the crutches,
Oh, it is fully metal.

No room to look for others,
Everything is inside,
It is me,
Either I want or otherwise.

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

1 You Do Because You Have To Do It

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

When you are doing something, please ask yourself why are you doing such thing. You can't just do it without any clear aim. Unless you really want to waste your time. I can't say more if it does.

I didn't attend SC last few weeks, more than twice I think. My SC members were really great, they concerned about me and asked me where did I go. I didn't have any answer other than I had some other works to be done. They were not statisfied with my answer and felt a bit unpleasant with my doing.

So then I asked him, "Why do you go to SC?"

He said, "You have to feel pity to our mentor. At least we have to support him."

I don't make something because I have extra time nor never to please anyone. I do because I have to do it. If I don't feel the need to do it then probably I don't even think to have any relation with it.

Many people busy themselves to please others. What do they get by doing that? We are only asked to please our God, ain't we?

Thursday, 10 April 2014

1 "I Am Damn Serious About This Matter"

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

I was scolded by Dr Omayma today and she looked very serious. It was all started when Zofir pressed on my left injured knee, so I responded like I should and that had distracted the doctor. She sharply starred at me like a lion seeing a prey. 

"Why are you laughing? Is there anything funny on me? If it is please tell me so we can laugh together. I have seen you playing in class many times. Tell me or I won't continue the lecture,"

"Erm.. There was nothing doctor, I'm really sorry and won't do it again,"

"If you don't like my class you can go out, I don't care. I am damn serious about this matter,"


The almost same situation I had before with Dr Samira but she was a bit softer. Also, this reminds me to my school era. I made Teacher Zarinah and Ustazah Marzilah cried. It was quite terrible, although it was not completely my fault. Heh. I don't care being scolded by anyone as long as it is my fault. In fact, I am happy if someone reminds me.

Sorry again Dr Omayma. I just can't sit still, it's boring.

Saturday, 5 April 2014

0 According To My Former Self I Should Have Been Better Than My Current Self

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

The title has been long enough to know the essence of this writing, just like the title of Indonesian drama. Lulz.

I became matured at the age that I think a bit earlier than others, 16. Matured I mean started to think about life, what will you be in the future and what is life all about. I started to read books that normally typical students read at 20 or above when I was 17. Managing and building people at the age of 17. That was quite early. Normally Malaysians at that age only think about exams and playing around. I also did choose my academic track not only because there was scholarship.

But now then, I am no different than other mere university students, even maybe worse. Heh. Static. When you static, you will get infected.

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

1 Barbiturates Story By Dr Hesham Mahmoud

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Once upon a time, there was a guy in Egypt working at a bakery. One day, early in the morning he ate a long feeno, a regular bread eaten by Egyptians. While he was eating, he got a phone call from his wife. She told him that their daughter was missing. The guy became worried and tried to think about how to search his daughter. Moreover, he just gave his daughter an expensive hand watch branded Seiko.

Then he called his brother which was the uncle of her daughter to ask for help. After a while, fortunately, his daughter with her hand watch came to the bakery. He was so happy and hugged her lovingly.

The end.

Moral of the story:
1. The long feeno represents long acting barbiturates -----> Phenobarbitone
2. Daughter in Arabic means bintu. As his daughter was a small and short girl, she represents short acting barbiturates ----> Pentobarbitone. Also not to forget that she was wearing a watch branded Seiko in which we can have another short acting barbiturates ----> Secobarbitone
3. As regarding the uncle as a 'middle man' in searching his daughter, uncle is called ammu in Arabic. Simply we can get intermediate acting barbiturates ----> Amobarbitone

Dr Hesham is a funny guy. Heh. He knows greatly how to attract people's attention. Thanks Dr.

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

0 EG529 & MH370

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

People are hoping for our prayers. Don't ever look the prayers with one eye. God is present and He always hears our prayers. Keep praying. Nothing is impossible in His dictionary.



Monday, 24 March 2014

0 I Can't Go Back Like This

يسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Third year gonna set soon. Time passed so rapid. Last year when I went back to Malaysia, I met my first naqib. He was so happy and he asked me what did I get after two years in Egypt. I didn't know how to answer; either didn't know what to say or didn't have any. I just replied with an innocent smile. He laughed and I knew that the laugh meant 'what have you done two years in Al-Banna's land? Sleep?'

I'm afraid this year gonna be the same. The same question and the same answer but worse because it's three years this time. Erk. I have few months left to work for something. It's not about impressing others or showing that I am doing something. It's an evidence that I have done what should I do. Iman is not an empty oath, yet it has to be proven by actions.

I played a lot this year. Running away, doing silly things, overdose with something I shouldn't, etc. Heh. Third year, very funny and silly year. I am not gonna forget this year.

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

0 Lecture Is Over

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Running from Mohandiseen to university. It was 12.40 and Pharmacology lecture was written in the schedule to start at 12 noon. I knocked the door and went into the lecture hall enthusiastically. Right after my right foot stepped into the hall, the whole class laughed at me.

"Why do you come? We just finished," Dr Abdul Rahman El-Naggar said.

"Eh? Seriously doctor? Shouldn't the lecture start at 12?"

"Daus, kelas start awal pukul 11 tadi, habis pun awal," Hanafi replied on behalf of Dr El-Naggar.


I better sleep at home from the first place.

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

0 Be Happy, A Lot Of Things Ahead

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Life doesn't always be as you wish. Sometimes it goes upward and sometimes downward. It's an inevitable bottom line of life. Unless you're The God, you can't never change that fact. The difference is how you face and handle the situation. Everybody has their hard time. Rich, poor, doctors, engineers, lecturers, consultants, teachers, nurses, accountants, lawyers, politicians, businessmen, businesswomen, writers, singers, artists, motivators, architects, pilots and I've no idea. They all have. As long as you know perfectly what's your aim and have Allah on your side, you'll never be dissapointed nor grieved.

Be not sad (or afraid), surely Allah is with us [At-Taubah:40]

Let's get the ball rolling!


Friday, 7 March 2014

0 A Great Day Begins With A Good Start

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

A wise man said, "Early bird catches the worm,"

But actually we always forget the other character of this story, the worm. Another wise man said, "Early bird catches the worm but the early worm gets eaten,"

For, please be the bird not the worm. Sometimes we just get out too 'early'.


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