Life | Notion | Future

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Currently since few months ago, political stage in Malaysia becomes hot. One side attacks the other side. Friend becomes enemy. Everybody seems to be selfish and busy thinking about their own party and interest ignoring what they chosen for during the last PRU 13. As the supporters, they always want to raise their party regardless what happens. What their party says are always correct and the one who doesn't want to hear and follow them is a traitor and needs to be excluded immediately. I don't want to write about politics. I am not planning for joining politics and I don't expert in politics to give good views or comments regarding it. But as a member of democatic country like Malaysia, I have my right to say anything and give building comments as long as it is not provocation-based.  Malaysia is a multicultural, multireligious, and multiraces country. From the word multi, differences and conflicts can't be avoided. Even a unirace co...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم When I was a junior in secondary school, I was afraid to get older. I didn't want to hold many responsibilities and wanted to just play happily with my friends. I didn't want to leave my school and friends. But then after being a senior and 'graduated', I realized that the best moment in school was during form 5. It was the maturity made it a joy, knowing what to do and why I did it. That's the ultimate perk. In my university years, I had wanted from the first day to be a senior. Haha. I was thinking being a junior made me couldn't do many things. I had to 'respect' the seniors and to 'follow' what they told me to do. Junior kot. After some times, I didn't care about those things. I just did what I wanted, ignoring people around me. Unfortunately, that was my biggest mistake. I ignored people around me and arrogantly thought that I was the only one who knew everything. Lulz. Sakai. That's life. It chang...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Two weeks ago, after had a two days daurah, we went to Dr Ikram's house in Seksyen 15 Bandar Baru Bangi. Had a long and fruitfull chat. He shared a lot and I heard a lot. And actually that was the first time for me visiting a doctor among pakcik-pakcik. One of his best words that I couldn't hold to laugh was, "taking over an organization is our specialty, we did it a lot" Haha, true enough I think. Because it looked like I was too dominant asking questions to him, I kept slowing down. Things became worse, instead of letting the situation filled with cricket's sound, I rather asked more questions. Until the final question I asked him, "would you give us an advise as medical students?"  He replied, "be the best medical student, be an expert. One of the reasons why we can still hold good positions until today is because we have the quality, people have the trust on us. When you have the quality people will find you....

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم You may be very good in front of society and you may be the best in your community to be pointed as a leader. People respect you, your knowledge, leadership and manners. Each problem will be refered to you. Usrah, 2 usrah are just too normal. At least must be three. Everbody always loves to hear your speeches, very convincing and couraging. But then, you always forget the one who sits closest to you. When it comes to their turn, you don't put your best on it. If a whole night could be spent just to strategize how to get your classmate back to the right way, why couldn't you do the same for them. 'And warn your closest kindred' [26:214] It is maybe quite hard, but what other choice do you have? Indeed the best thing is to see them together doing what you believe.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Muslim and non-muslim are truly different. The muslims believe in the hereafter. It is not just a mere believe and say "I believe in the presence of the hereafter." Sure not that easy. We also believe the Qadha' and Qadar with the real believe, not just verbally say it. And that is why we are called the believers because we believe those things that other people don't. When something happens regardless its benefit or harm, it happens for a reason. The planets don't just simply move in their orbits without controlled by a power above them. We never believe that a book can be wrtitten by itself, so do the planets. We are believers that believe the truth without merely inherit it from our ancestors. We believe because the truth is only believed by wise people. We are the people. Abu Bakar As-Siddiq, Umar Al-Khattab, Amr Al-'Ash, Khalid Al-Walid. They are wise people. They are somebody and hold good positions in their clans. The...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم One day in a car, Mama told everyone that we are going to balik kampung to Terengganu soon. Unfortunately, the Proton Saga was too small for 3 guys(me, my big brother and a little brother) to seat at the back in a long-distance journey. Since all of us have grown up, it would be very lenguh sitting at the back for at least 6 hours. Everybody started to think the solution of this problem. Abah then gave a suggestion, "One of you guys should go with Kak Long. She is going to Terengganu on the same day as we do." Mama added, "Ah yes. Someone has to go with Kak Long, he can also play with Zhariff." Another question raised. Who is going to be the one goes with Kak Long? After a discussion, a decision agreed. Since I was the shortest among us, I was the one chosen. I will always blame my little brother for being taller than me, he shouldn't!

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم The concept of "at least we do something" is not simply applicable in all circumstances. Many have confused in understanding and using this concept. In case of house fire, if there is no ambulance or people to help you, then you have to do anything you could even if it doesn't seem to help you much in removing the fire. For you would surely die if you do nothing. As in case of dealing with a smoker, if direct talking is apparently suitable in that particular situation, it should be done then. However should the smoker would likely hard to accept words, another action need to be taken, not just doing anything under the reason of "at least we do something". Steps taken should be wise and productive. Blindly put efforts to wrong places will only waste strengths in which can be used for other occasions. That action not only wastes energy and strength, also badly abuse people. Life in this globe only last for 60 years. In this period o...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Dear Ratchet. It was just a few minutes before Maghrib, I was told by my friend that you had been kidnapped. I didn't react much, just asked my friend how did it happen. He told me that the lock was being cut and it happened before Fajr. To be grief is too mainstream and even can't bring you back. Police report couldn't be made because I didn't yet get you a plate number that I had planned to do after I reach 21. To blame anyone is also useless although I could smell an odour of reckless in the one I asked to keep you. However, thing has happened. Your loss reminds me to my iPod that I had lost it after only a month from our acquaintance. It was 4 months ago since we first met. I still remember how I could fall in love with you from the first sight. It seems like our relationship is too short to come to its end. I am just started to know yourself, but He loves His servant more. He doesn't want me to love you more than Him.  ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Ego at its limit. People don't have the right to correct you when you do wrong. It seems like you don't know mistakes, you are preserved.  What are the uses of those stuffs called live in a group and syura, then? Oh maybe you have a better rules of your own. Go on and see what would happen.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم On my way to Muscat for 9-hour transit before going to Malaysia, I had a small talk with a middle age woman. I actually wanted to go to toilet but since all the toilets were occupied I waited on a coincidentaly empty seat beside the woman. She looked like an Arab, so I had my conversation in Arabic. This conversation is in full Arabic "Assalamualaikum, where are you going madam?" "Waalaikumussalam, I am going to Muscat." "You just transit there or it is your destination?" "I am going there." "You work there or just visiting someone." "Oh I want to visit my sister there." "Hmm, are you an Egyptian?" "No, I am from Sudan and live in Egypt. Sometimes I go back to Sudan like you do going back to Malaysia." "Hehe. Where do you live in Egypt? I live in Sayyeda Zeinab." "Really? I also live there near Saad Zaghloul Metro station...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 10.20 a.m from home, going to exam with a blue ProjeKita t-shirt. At the entrance of Parasitology department, a list of names and groups were placed for reference. Saw my name at the last  row of group 4, did my signature with the assistant and went to room for group number 4. It was Dr Azza, a doctor that always has smile on her face. Me: Assalamualaikum, good morning doctor. Dr Azza: Good morning, have a seat. Pick one card. First card was Ancylostoma duodenale. Dr Azza: Do you know anything about Ancylostoma duodenale? Give me the clinical picture of disease caused by it. Me: Yes, it's a hookworm. At the site of penetration, there is skin rash. During migration of the larva, pneumonitis occurs and in intestine it causes bleeding, diarrhea and also anemia in blood. Dr Azza: Good. Is it commonly occur with farmers? Me: Yes. Dr Azza: Very good. Okay let's pick another card. The second card was unexpectedly Ancylost...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم The time when you don't want to be disturbed, you want to make your own stuffs without any help or others concern. It is not that you don't accept others kindness or being selfish on yourself nor feeling independent. It is just the need to be alone, calming yourself from the outside world and taking some moment to rearrange and stack things all over again. Those things are only can be made alone.  At that moment, people should understand and avoid from disturbing you. However life doesn't go like that. You can't be selfish and expect others to understand you. First is to understand before being understood. Unless it is life involved, you have to prioritize others. But again life doesn't ideally be like that. You just can't be very nice all the time. There is still a time when you become selfish despite many bad things might happen. Ramadhan should educate you to be a better person. If it is not this time, when it would be? -...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Different thing has to be treated differently. That's why it is called different. You cannot just simply judge someone using a same scale as you do to others. Some people can live with one dollar but some even cannot live with 100 dolars. Justice means to put something in its right place, not equalize everything. Same thing occuring in different situation also has to be treated differently. Many things have to be considered. To treat different things differently is an easy thing. To differentiate two different things as two unlike substances is not easy. You need a lot of knowledge and experiences. Things are not black and white nowadays, they are rather full of colors. If you are color-blind, you will be screwed. Things are just not the same. Stop generalizing.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم You can see many kind of people in this globe. All of them have their own special distinct characteristics. Some are good and some are unfortunately not. Friend is a word best to describe people who are always willing to share common and uncommon things. They put away all the differences and try their best finding mutualities between them. They are not just mere people who you can laugh and have fun with, not only those who always pay for your lunch and dinner.  More substantially, they share the same problems and happiness. Their problems are your problem, not because they are your friends so they have to know your problems yet because their mind and though are just like yours. You don't have to tell everything and they know already. When you see and meet these people you become different, your soul, heart and spirit become stronger. By just looking at them, you can see their eyes filled with sincerity. No matter how far you be, distance never seper...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Nobody knows where he lives but for sure, he will come and meet people annually. He is not too tall nor short, just nice for a handsome guy. With beard and side comb hairstyle, make him a complete package to be a crush for every girl. His presence brings happiness and blessing, not just to people who know him yet also who don't. Before he comes, he will tell everyone that he will do so. Months before he comes, people have prepared everything to welcome him. Several preparations be it physical or spiritual, all are made just to have a good time with him. Some people however don't really mind the presence of him. Before, during or after his presence are the same, nothing different. In fact, some are doing something to insult him purposely. All those things never affect him. He doesn't need people to please him. He will always come although there is nobody accepting him. People are the ones who need him. The climax moment is the time when he is ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Early in the morning at 6, I went to Musallas, a place just after Hayyu Asyir from the direction of Gami3 Salam. Accompanying my friend for his business with ustaz living there, I just realized that I had been there few times before. When my friend asked whether I know the place or not, I answered "no but had heard before" but actually that was a dejavu that came in my mind deep from my previous memory. I had come here before, about 6 months ago. There was the headquater of ikhwah Thailand and I had usrah few times there with my former Egyptian naqib, Dr Fadhil. Currently all of my usrah members are going seperated, some still I am connecting with and some are not. About Dr Fadhil, I wonder where he is right now. I never heard any news about him after the coup. I sent a message to him but got no reply. Anything might happen, maybe he is in prison, or killed during the Rabaa incident.  I hope he is in a good condition. On the way back, I pas...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم For those days we felt like a mistake, Those times when loves what you hate, Somehow, We keep marching on. For those nights when I couldn't be there, I've made it harder to know that you know, That somehow, We'll keep moving on. There's so many wars we fought, There's so many things were not, But with what we have, I promise you that, We're marching on, (We're marching on) (We're marching on). For all of the plans we've made, There isn't a flag I'd wave, Don't care if we bend, I'd sink us to swim, We're marching on, (We're marching on) (We're marching on). For those doubts that swirl all around us, For those lives that tear at the seams, We know, We're not what we've seen, For this dance we'll move with each other. There ain't no other step than one foot, Right in front of the other. There's so...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I know everybody felt the same thing. The worst 3 hour torture in an exam hall. I think the doctors have planned it. The midyear and the first paper were easy but the second paper was crazy, so many first-time-heard drugs.  Pharma has taught me the meaning of life. Now I understand the value of this temporary life that I have lost it. I wish I was a cat having 9 lives. May Allah give me and all my friends success here and in the afterlife.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم This morning while I was scrolling my fb timeline, a link from FJP website popped out with title فيديو التحرش فضيحة شوهت تنصيب السيسي (Sisi's inauguration marred by a video showing apparent sexual assault). The news was actually from the newspaper Times. I watched the video (it's 18SX btw) and had no idea of what was happening. It was happened in Tahrir, just a few kilometers from my place. A girl was surrounded by a group of men (they don't deserve to be men) doing something inappropiate and made the girl naked. I have no idea what did other people there at that time do when they saw the incident. Last week also Egypt's government issued a new anti-sexual harassment law following many cases occured lately in Egypt. I also did read a survey regarding sexual harassment in Egypt and it said more than 90% of women in Egypt had experienced sexual harassment verbally or physically. And suprisingly, I can't believe that I am living in this co...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم My fb timeline today is full of anniversary wishes. I don't know why but it seems that 5 June is a celebrated day for many of my friends and also not be forgotten the anniversary of my second sister's wedding. It was 3 years ago and it was also the only family wedding out of four that I attended. It is a common thing for me to not involve in many family activities. Besides of the fact that I stayed in hostel since secondary school, my relation to my family was not really intimate. The hardest thing in mutabaah amal during I was in school was to call my parents. It was extremely rare for me to merely call my parents for just making small talks. I only called my father to pick me up from hostel once per two or four weeks, "Assalamualaikum Abah, erm hari ni balik wajib, boleh la datang lepas solat jumaat." Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde character utterly suited me. I was Dr Jekyll at home and Mr Hyde at hostel. I didn't tell almost all activiti...