Life | Notion | Future

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم This questions keeps singing in my head. Still I don't know what kind of doctor I want to be or should I be. Being a doctor is tough especially when being a specialist in any critical specialities as Obstetric and Gynaecology, Cardiology and Surgery. One of the biggest concerns is time. Do I just want to be in the hospital serving physically unhealty people all day? When to serve people outside the hospital?  I can't merge those two groups of people, in the hospital and outside the hospital. The population going to hospitals is too small and most of the problem don't originate from these people. Since I am always taught to directly serve people in the society, I just can't imagine how to do so when being inside the hospital most of the time. Of course serving sick people is a very undeniable noble job. Many hadith telling us to visit sick people and give them present. Their prayers are very precious. However, our deen doesn't teac...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم One-week travel with Ust Fadzil feels like living 10 years more. He always had something to tell us. From the first time he joined tarbiyah till he is right now. And the best part is regarding business! Indeed, we don't need to do much mistakes nor trial and error. What we need is to learn from others experience so that we can do much better from them. All of sudden, when I went back home, I felt like being someone else. I just couldn't have the same language as they had. Conversations with them were just like talking to new people. I need to adapt the new language I have right now. Setting > Language > Ikhwah > Friends Loading....

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم At the end of the day, what helps us the most is what we learn, not the result. In fact, mistake usually plays a better teacher than being correct all the time. Just read the stories of great people. Most of them, all of them, actually did mistakes much more than we do before becoming what they are today. What determines a legend is what happens post-mistakes. Few days back, we had a group assignment presentation. Sadly, we did something not related to the title given, early diagnosis of primary open angle glaucoma (POAG). What we did instead was typical diagnosis of POAG. I might be the one first to be blamed, as the role of referring the doctor, Dr Ahmed El Sawy, was on my shoulder but I did not do it well enough. The head of department of department 12 of Ophthalmology, Dr Khalid seemed to not accepting our presentation. He even asked our presenter to stop if the presentation did not corresponding to the title. Things happened and life goes on. ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم People usually tend to fell stress and mad at something when it is against our expectation or interest. It is logic and normal as a human. On the contrary, good things would be percieved well despite being unexpected, even percieved better when it does. If I was asked a question, "what is the most important and valuable thing you got being in tarbiah?", the answer would be the way of perceiving things. Things that have changed my life 360 degree. The rest of the changes, I name them side changes, come after the primary change. The former changes are things that most people, who I believe having sound hearts, are doing for nothing but to treat diseases in the society. The most effective way, however, in treating the diseases is by doing the later changes, the way of perceiving things it is. I used to fell regret being in Egypt, despite it was not my first choice, for stress stimuli are everywhere to trigger me. There are not so much things t...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم One of the most basic yet very important right should be given to others is to fulfill promise especially something related to time. When a date is agreed, then it must be obeyed by everyone involved in it. Since it is related to others right, we might take their time unconsciously. We never know how much they have sacrificed just to be early as agreed. Time is more expensive than gold. Stealing time is a lot worse than stealing gold. And that is the very reason why harisun 'ala waqtihi is there among the ten muwasofat tarbiah.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Two groups of people who are worth talking with, older people and children. The former group is due to precious experiences they have which never could be find elsewhere. The later is for they are innocent, free from bad thoughts and selfishness. Chatting with coevals would just make me having too much jokes with not so much benefits as the two groups before. Future is one of the most creepy thing in this world. Everybody wants to know what is in front of them in the next 10 or 20 years. The service of tukang tilik  which was(I am not sure today) very famous among Malay emphasizes the fact that everybody wants to know their future. Nobody really cares a lot as regard their past history compared to what is in front of them because they could not change it.  Each time thinking and discussing about future, my plan always changes, not because I am hesitated yet due to refinement of understanding from time to time. Of course it is quite horrible ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Fashion usually gives a false definition on what is actually called needs. Everybody wants to live happily in this world as in fashion designer, businessman, product saler, etc. They promote their products not because they really want to help us having a better life, some may, but to give themselves a better life. They just want money so as they could buy foods, drinks, pay house rent and be happy. If we could think wisely, why things like busana muslimah which is obviously not practically used in normal daily lives is sold and promoted? Oh God, who on earth wants to wear those overatted, abnormal designs. It is designed and made not primarily for the muslimah to cover their aurat or intimate parts. The initial objective is money, yes money. We do not need to follow all kind of mainstream particularly fashion. It steals our money a lot which is better to spend on something else. Practically speaking, when we buy an updated designed shirt, we do nothing t...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم My dear batchmate, Azmi was admitted to hospital two days back. He went through an appendectomy operation, Egyptians sound it 3amaliah ziyadah . The doctor removed his appendix, an extra part of cecum which does not have a definite function than a business for surgeons, as far as I know at least.  The background story of his case was quite tragic by the way. One week before, he went to see a doctor and had been missdiagnosed as having intestinal obstruction. The doctor prescribed him antibiotics and prokinetics as normal medications for a case of intestinal obstruction. Later on after several days passed, no reliable improvement could be seen. He went again to see a doctor, another doctor, Dr Sahir she was. Pain felt in his right iliac region drove Dr Sahir to do ultrasound examination. Once confirmed appendicitis, she scolded friends who brought Azmi to the hospital for not bringing him earlier as his appendix had ruptured! Perotinitis had occur...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Today in outpatient clinic, I met an old woman aged nearly 80 years old with acute attack of angle closure glaucoma. She seemed to be very in pain with red eyes, and could not open her eyes for a long period. The doctor even could not do an applanation tonometry as she constantly moving her eyes. At last, the doctor just took her off with some medications.  She came with a 30-year-old-like woman. When the doctor asked the woman what is the age of the patient, she replied that she don't know it. An old woman like that came to clinic with a woman who didn't know her age. Sounds weird. I bet she was not her daughter. Another question pops out. Where are her children? With whom does she live? I wonder what would Egypt's president Abdel Fattah Al-Sisi and the previous corrupt leaders answer in front of Allah in the Mahsyar. Egyptians live in suffer while they sleep on money. Allahumman suril islam wal muslimeen.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم One of the best part in my life is when nobody around in terms of nobody will disturb and distract me from focusing on what I want to do. Tea is there, computer is on, books are perfectly in position. Ah, that is so awesome. The journey of going through the books with the authors will be just amazing as laying on a beach chair at Pulau Kapas. New world is created and I could be anything I want. The new world is indeed so vast. Ah, tea is running out. Need to get another one.  Done.  Continue the journey.... Suddenly adhan heard. It is Asar time already. Feels like it is just Dhuhr couple minutes before. Then I realize, the journey actually may pass the time zone. It runs way faster than the normal. Let's just go to sleep and continue the journey the day after.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Since lecture ended early as usual, I changed my direction to the outpatient clinic instead of my beloved, cozy room with perfect bed. I met Dr Mina, the resident in one of the room in the Ophthalmology department in the clinic. He greeted me well and even asked my name! That was a very melting way of greeting a disturbing student like me. "Assalamualaikum Dr, ana tholib sanah rab3a, mumkin bashuf some cases?" "Okay, sanah kam?" "Rab3a," "Mumkin 3arif ismak hadretak eh lau sama7t?" "Mina. What's your name?" "Muhammad," First patient was a middle age man with obviously small right eye. He had an atrohia bulbi secondary to a systemic disease which I forgot its name. Following patients were mainly myopes. They checked for their glasses powers. Dr Mina called me as he was doing the procedure for the first patient with myopia and taught me how to do it. First to read the p...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Although fourth year in Cairo University is considered a clinical year, I am just being in the real clinical year after the second semester started. The previous two rounds(Forensic and Public Health) weren't really clinical subjects. So Ophthalmology it is my first subject followed by Ear, Nose and Throat later.  After two days studying this subject and reading the books and atlas, I spotted at least two self-diagnosis problems in my eyes. Epicanthus and conjunctival naevus(I rather call it first level of Sharingan) without counting the (congenital) eye bags if it is accounted as a disease. If directional dyslexia is related to eye, it can also be included. Haha. Anyway alhamdulillah for these beautiful eyes. Without them, I could not even know how do I look like.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم It was a very nice experience being a member of highest committee of tanzim in Egypt. Albeit I did achieve nothing, I learned a lot and the experience somehow has changed me at least minutely. Now many changes happen and new faces going in front replacing the former. Wherever we might be, there are always chances for us to do good deeds. As long as we aware of the biggest mission and always prepare ourselves to serve Him in any way. A task gets off and a new coming. Equip yourself, brother!

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم This article was written and posted 2 years ago in my batch blog. I wrote it with baris , so please read it. Heh.  عَن الْإِمْتِحَانِ الْإِمْتِحَانُ يَأْتِي مَرَّةً ثَانِبَةً وَهَذَا هُوَ شَيْءٌ عَادِيٌ فِي حَيَاتِنَا الطُّلَّابِ. وَعِنْدَمَا يَأْتِي الْإِمْتِحَانُ كُلُّنَا سَنَسْتَعِدُ نَفْسَنَا لِنُوَاجِهَ الْإِمْتِحَانَ بِالنَّجَاحِ. سَنَقْرَأُ وَ نُمَارِسُ التَّمَارِينَ وَ نَكْتُبُ الْمُلَاحَظَاتِ حَتَّى نَحْفَظَ كُلَّ شَيْئٍ مَكْتُوبٍ فِي الْكِتَابِ مِنْ أَصْغَرِ الْمَعْلُومَةِ إِلَى الْأَكْبَرِ. وَفِي وَقْتِئِذٍ سَنُصْبِحُ الطُّلَّابَ الْحَقِيقَةَ بِقِرِاءَةِ الْكُتُبِ لِكُلِّ وَقْتٍ لِكَيْ نَعْرِفَ كُلَّ شَيْئٍ لَمْ نَعْرِفْ قَبْلَهَا. إِذَا كَانَ الْإِمْتِحَانُ غَيْرَ مَوْجُودٍ بِالتَّأْكِيدِ لَنْ نَعْرِفَ وَ نَتَذَكَّرَ مَا دَرَسْنَا فِي الْجَامِعَةِ أَبَدًا. أَمَّا فِي هَذَا الْمَقَالِ لَا أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَتَكَلَّمَ عَنِ الْإِمْتِحَانِ أَوْ إِسْتِعْدَادِ الْإِمْتِحَانِ بَلْ سَأَتَكَلَّمُ عَنِ الْحَالِ الَّذِي سَيَحْدُثُ بَعْدَ الْإِ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم My superseniors in medical school have finished their MBBCh final exam today and are currently waiting for the results. As usual, congratulations to all seniors though I don't really have a great connection with them. But at least I know most of them, the guys of course since I have almost nothing to do with girls here in my university except assignment-group work-university stuffs, etc. Otherwise I know nothing even things related to mushrif. May Allah accept all their efforts and give them best results. Meanwhile I am here waiting for another 3 years to complete this 6 year and a half course. Seeing colleagues graduating makes me feel much eager to finish this degree sooner. Then I just realize that I am just too kid to graduate. A baby clinical year student who just learns how to be a doctor. Be patient, dear. You still have much things out there to discover. And more importantly, I achieved nothing to be proud of. Not worth an Egyptian pound to pay...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I always feel jealous of others who have sound hearts. They have no grudges, bad perceptions or feeling of sabotaging others. Ah, if there was a scientific laboratory test for indicating the level of heart contamination, I pretty sure my heart would be at the worst level. It is not an easy task to clean it and I really do adore my friends who can easily forgive people, help others and don't hesitate at all to appreciate everyone around them. I would probably die before achieving that level. You don't actually really need good physical and looks but a heart free from any bad feeling on people. You wouldn't even be able to get into Jannah with minute envy in the heart. The struggle of achieving a sound heart is a lifetime job. I have done many physical and mental works and I did succeed in most of them. But when it involves the heart, I am actually below the amature level.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحبم When you give something to a homeless, certainly he/she would thank you by saying prayers or at least 'thank you'. It is a manner to say thank you when people help or give present to you. That is for the side of recipient. As for the donor, it doesn't mean that a donor is at higher level than the recipient albeit apparently the donor the one who helps the recipient. But actually the presence of recipient has helped the donor to do good deeds and in fact even the money the donor used to do charity is from God and doesn't belong to anyone but Him. The most repected and noble person in front of Allah is indicated as regard the pious. As we give money to the homeless the best asnwer to reply when they say thank you is, "shokran lillah" which means "thank Allah" for everything comes from Him.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Being in Egypt sometimes I feel like being in school. With many persatuan-oriented programs and the things related to it, it somehow makes me feel like 5 years ago. The self-made rules are making things more school-like. For me, university students should go beyond those levels. In fact, being overseas students is a very big advantage to gain more experiences. A study shows that human brain can give more creativity and good thoughts when it is in its default state which can be achieved by emptying mind from stuffs like monitoring lists, meetings, etc. When the default state achieved, it can freely think and make powerful imagination that can create new findings as iPhone, Microsoft and Facebook. As we are living with those stuffs 24 hours a day, we are actually controlled by the things we create. The bare ikhlas reason is not just enough to purify our actions, yes at the mininum level. Ah, it has nothing to do with that ikhlas-related matters. The ma...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Nothing to say and no need to say anything. What is needed is to do because the stage of speaking is not and never be the same as the stage of action. May this very short new year be better and a lot better. 0715, January 1 2015, Cairo.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Yes. Usrah. For Malaysian community in Egypt, it is not just a mere word but an obligatory for everyone to at least have one regardless the name used. I personally knew the real meaning of usrah during the last quarter of my secondary school years. Of course it was present in the school yet I am talking about the real system at the first it was introduced by the founder to the community. I felt the difference and perhaps you too would feel the same if you did as what I did. As for the system, it would be a very boring discussion for the people who like heavy materials for it is too simple to understand. You now why? Because we don't actually care much on the discussion but we do care what to do after the discussion. If someone joins usrah and he doesn't do and move in the society and does as his murabbi, surely he would be bored and inevitably leave the usrah. The challenge is not only to maintain the attendance but to move the idea in the commun...