Life | Notion | Future

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Some things have no escape from being thought about. After repeatedly trying to convince the mind to defer, the soul raises it back. The fact that nothing can be done makes it having more reason to think about. Nobody wants to be bothered by buzzing thoughts of uncertainty, especially when exam is going to be soon. The feeling of insecure is of multifactorial that needs just a small dose of reasurrance from the right person. It is between two big walls. The thought will keep buzzing while not much, or nothing, can be done. Writing down what the soul is saying not to seek for a solution, rather trying to tone it down.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I do not know why. The word 'change' for Malays, is actually quite new in their(our) vocabularies. Since the independence, Malays are more or less the same particularly in the way of thinking. We have not evolved much, loving to remain in the comfort state we are currently in. Unlike Chinese and Indians, they are more versatile and willing to make a change. In politics, for example, MCA and MIC were the most popular parties for Chinese and Indians during the early years after the independence. As time passes, corruption after corruption, lies after lies, they move to another parties as in DAP and GERAKAN. As for Malays, UMNO is always the choice. The ones who voted for UMNO before are the one who are going to do the same today. The same goes to PAS. The voters are the same persons. After the parents pass away, the children will continue the culture. Knowing the fact that politics is not white and black, what is right today may be wrong tomorrow...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Is everything we see today real?  The foods we eat, are they genuine?  Even the life we live in, is it still pure? Sometimes, I feel like living in an isolated countryside, away from people just to have a fine life. Clean from any polutions, be it in food, air or thoughts. Slowly but surely, consuming bad foods, impairs body functions in various ways. In the middle of poverty and lack of wisdoms, people still concern about their physical appearance. Everybody wants to look perfectly beautiful. Everyone is obsessed with the thought that physical appearance is the main reason for happiness, despite knowing very well the phrase 'do not judge a book by its cover'. Beauty products overpass moral and intellectual products. We can hardly mention millionare who sells books. On the other hand, most of beauty products entrepreneurs are having money flowing under their feet. What kind of world we are actually living in? Women are the ma...

 بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Words can bring love or hate.  Two people may fall in love and be together because of words. Two nations may declare war against each other because of words. The most powerful single gift to a prophet from Allah is in the form of words. To utter good words is not an easy act to do. To encourage and give compliment sometimes is more difficult than to criticise and condemn. It is an art, to speak good and be silent when words are not necessary. Let's learn to speak nice words, encourage others, and avoid clashes.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم The hardest part of being a murabbi is to release mutarabbi and pass it to another murabbi. At that time, I just realised too many rights had not been fulfilled. May Allah forgive all my mistakes and flaws and give them a much better murabbi. It certainly would not be an easy job.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Ramadhan never fails to give me something. This year's Ramadhan, particularly, is very special as it would be the last in Egypt. Ramadhan in this blessed land has given me a new dimention of going through the holy month. It taught me how to appreciate this month when it is describe as the month of Al-Quran as it really is.  The best moment is the night. First of all because we can eat and drink, so that you have more energy. Second is the prayers. In this month only we can have the worldview of Al-Quran as we go through the whole book as imam would recite every night. This is truly a blessing from Allah. Isolation and tears. Those are the themes for this Ramadhan. اللهم بارك لنا فى هذا الشهر العظيم

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Last time, we had an interesting discussion during usrah at one of our members' apartment in Hayyu Thamin. The discussion circulated around truth and falsehood, and the conflict that happens in between them. This is a very common issue presenting in the society, particularly among Muslim in Malaysia, also including other Muslim all around the world. The current world we are living in is not painted as white and black. There is so many grey zone in between. Looking at religious texts as white and black is a kind of dangerous approach, as one could easily put labels on different groups or people. The distinction is not between believers and non-believers. That is quite apparent, but when it comes to different groups among Muslims, dubiety starts to knock the door. Which group is the truest, or nearest to the truth? We have no one to give final word or to decide which of them is the best. Unlike during the era of prophet, it was obvious that whoever...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 'Rules are made to be broken' My professor likes to repeat this phrase. As rules are made to be a reference, they are also to be broken. In terms of education, the highest standard should be taught. In terms of practical, some of the rules are not applied but students should be aware of the ceiling above their head. When I was in secondary school, one of my usrahmate brought his phone to school. It was obviously not allowed for students to bring a phone to school. But if it was not because of that, we would not be able to contact our naqib to have an usrah . People who fight for justice all over the world. Many of them go against the rules in the place they are living in. Just have a look at Muslim Brotherhood members in Egypt who have been jailed and tortured for going against the rules of Egypt's tyrannical government. It is very irony.  These people teach me one very important lesson, it is to not being coward to go against...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم The result of what we do depends on how much effort we give on it. The more serious we are, the better would be the result. Expect failure if we keep playing around. *you see, even the title is lightly spelled

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I am missing Mansoura. The place, restaurants, stadium and mostly, the people. A brief visit might satisfy this feeling.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I cannot stop laughing seeing myself few years back. How immature I was in thought and action. What funnier is to see the same features in the juniors. Haha. It is undeniably true that wisdom comes as time passed and experience gathered. The only thing I would miss from my younger self is the eagerness and enthusiasm. 2017 is less than 2 days apart. As the Imam in Bustan Mosque reminded during the khutbah of Jumuah prayer, increase a year in age equals being a year closer to death. It is not a good news to become older. The body cells are becoming weaker as oxygen radicals accumulate. Calcifications are everywhere, vessels become narrower, joints become more rigid. But the most important change is having more responsibilities.  Age comes with responsibilities.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم It is currently 13 degree celcius. Something is obviously missing but I don't know what.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Today's morning class with Dr Hussein, as usual, gave me an energy to complete the rest of the day enthusiastically. He knocked my mind to make me think in a better way, just like he always did. "What is the function of a wound?" No one answered. "To heal. Yes, to heal," " If a wound loses its function, healing may not occur. It is a wound failure," The worst thing to happen in life is when we lose our function, or even worse, we have no idea what is our function. This is exactly what is happening in the world. People has lost their functions. They do what they want. They bomb others. They kill others. They take others rights. They lie to everybody.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Everything is going to be miserable when you have a bad relationship with God. Prayers, Quran, fasting and zikr, each of them has its impact on spiritual building which eventually affects life as a whole. In this modern world, spiritual aspect is extremely being abandoned focusing only on the physical and to some extent, selected self thought spiritual aspects. It is a very good practice to be routinely followed up by bothers or friends so that our realtionship with God can be maintained despite having some problems in the middle of the track. That is exactly the genuine concept of usrah that was introduced by Imam Hassan Al-Banna around 80 years ago. To let our soul being unfed  is very unsafe. Slowly but surely an unfed soul will die. When the soul has died, there is no need for a body as it has lost its function as a home for a soul. What Imam says during khutbah of Jumaah prayer every week is very important. Fear Allah! Fear Allah! Fear Allah! As...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Traffic in 6th October Bridge was just like other nights, not so many cars at non-peak hour time. I was on the way to Hayyu 7 . At the end of the bridge, just before the exit to Hayyu 6, traffic got slower. I overtook few cars while they were giving me signs to slow down. Since I was already late for katibah , I just went on ignoring what they were trying to tell me. Cars after cars till I faced a soldier car escorting a goverment car. As I was trying to ovetake the car, the soldier shouted, "No! No!," I did not have much time to wait that I decided to just go on. With a M16 on his hand, the soldier pointed the rifle towards me. Okay this is too much. I slowed down as they slowly went on leaving me behind. I wonder would the soldier really shoot me if I were to overtook the car?

بسم الله الرحمن الحيم Everyone needs motivation. Usually, people tend to be motivated when others give support and encouragement. Being famous is also a sort of motivation.  Unfortunately, tarbiyah is not the thing many people love. Like the fibers that mostly present in green vegetables. They are frequently put aside in a seperate plate. Many do not realize that lack of this particular component of nutrient may impare stool extraction. When they need to sit in a toilet for hours, then only they fell regret for not having fibers. God and paradise are the pinnacle of motivation, although they are not directly seen before eyes. Just wonder how these people can sustain for years.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Is it okay to be selfish in some occasions? Is it accepted to complain on anything? Eventually, no one needs to answer those questions. Just think and do as you wish.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I have missread this fnal year. It turns out to squeeze me more than I formerly thought. The syllabuses, althought most of them have been thought in previous years, are moving so fast that everyone needs to cover many things in a short time. In addition to some unexpected events, some responsibilities interchange. I always pray for having blessings in my 24 hours time everyday. A brief pause refreshes the dead heart. أرحنا بالصلاة يا بلال Give us comfort by prayer ya Bilal

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم New semester is going to start in two weeks. It is my final year of medical school in foreign land. To express the feeling, it is a mixture of happy and grief. Happy for being a step closer before having an MBBCh, grief for leaving this land soon. Having a glance at what has happened through these five years, it gives me so much memories, good and bad. The plan I sketched during my first year currently makes me astonished for I was being too ambitious. Yeah, you know first year is the time where everything seems possible to achieve. Now, it is final year. Too much things to do, too less time left. That is where the dilemma comes. Where do I need to focus on? If everyhing is done, nothing will be achieved. The fact that this might be the last chance for me being in a foreign land, I cannot waste my time doing things that will not add to my take home supply before going back for good. Finishing job is much harder than starting it.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I cannot deny, that I feel nervous, although it is rare, when having meeting with some people. Be it the best day, best preparation, and most handsome attire, the feeling will still be there. Not the first time but it seems like it is. The only way to overcome it is by going through it. As I have gone through it, the feeling slowly flies away. This is a sign, not yet a diagnosis. May Allah make everything easy.