Life | Notion | Future

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I cannot deny, that I feel nervous, although it is rare, when having meeting with some people. Be it the best day, best preparation, and most handsome attire, the feeling will still be there. Not the first time but it seems like it is. The only way to overcome it is by going through it. As I have gone through it, the feeling slowly flies away. This is a sign, not yet a diagnosis. May Allah make everything easy.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم During   tazkirah today, the Imam said; انتصف رمضان (half of Ramadhan). A reflection comes into my head. With only half of the month left, will I be able to reach the target I should? Have I really seized the opportunity given in this holy month? When Ramadhan is described as a month of mujahadah, it is a month of struggle. To struggle is not just to increase tilawah or prayers, those are also important though, but to remove unhealty habits and to cultivate a new one. Reading 3 Juz per day while still sleeping most of the day is not a real struggle, or praying tarawikh for two hours while still not lowering gaze. This one-month divine program aims to build new better muslims, which become God conscious and whole-heartedly appreciate the meaning of submission to Allah. This is not easy, so that Allah makes it easier by having this kind of intensive program.  To create a new habit is difficult. May Allah give us strength and stam...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم What is seen or read is not always the reality. The standard given for anything is usually higher than what majority can achieve. Having medicine as an example, theoretical fact in medical books are not 100 percent found in real life or clinical practice. However, it is written as a standard reference. It is termed classic when it meets the standard in books. Sometimes slight variability might be encountered and accepted. When it comes to applying tarbiyah or islah in our own locality, the ideal standard may not be met. To have a good team is not always the case. To be in a good giving-advise-to-each-other environment is also not always available. At last, the real situation is only known by the locals.  For that reason, everyone should thoroughly understand the particular situation they are living in so as not to be influenced by the achievement of other localities which seems much better than us. Problem arises when we tend to literally follow...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Today marks the officially last day of class for fifth year students of Kasr El-Ainy Medical School. This day also marks a friendly heat wave of 44 ° C. As pevious years, this kind of temperature is one of the probable signs of the awaited Ramadhan.  What is left is the last phase of fifth year, the ultimate final exam. With two quite big clinical subjects, Pediatrics and Obstetric & Gynecology, it surely gives different challenge. Despite having so many new complicated things to learn, this year is the most amusing year throughout my years in medical school. Having real clinical exposure really gives the actual pictures of the diseases present in books. Plus, the most exciting part is to deal with patients as in history taking and physical examination to reach diagnosis. Please pray for me, my friends and people out there.  This may be the last, but not the least.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Politics is using a power by one person to affect the behavior of another person. That is one of the definitions. Politician is of course the one who practices politics. Despite having many other definitions, the general use of this single word is usually directed to party-based politics, which is related to governing a country. Being a student and exposedly practicing politics at the same time seems not a good idea, for me at least. To practice is okay but to declare to which side one is in is somehow a quite poor political strategy. As politics is about getting support and influencing others, the very first step is to have good relationship with everyone, friends and foes. Friends may not always be on our side. Foes may help us in any way in the future. If a great wall is initially built, by declaring our inclination, gaining support would not be easy. These people who are having daily routines with us in the university years will be important people...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Being a medical student is really amusing. Getting know about human bodies is one of the best things I ever experience in life. No wonder Al-Imam As-Syafie claimed medicine as one of the most important branches of knowledge. In fact, advancement of medical care is always associated with better development of a country as it serves better quality of life. Medical practitioners deal directly with human being. They talk, communicate, touch, examine and even open human bodies. Communication is inevitable, it is a part of daily routines, so as improving communication is obliged for every medical practitioners especially doctors. A medical student who does not give reasonable effort to improve communication skills cannot be accepted. It is completely unethical to touch someone, especially involving private areas, when the patient is not feeling comfortable with the doctor. The patient has no choice that he needs to be examined but the doctor should make the pa...

بسم الله الرحمن الريم I always thought I have understood the basic concept of life. From childhood, we are taught to study, be diligent and get good marks to have a good future. This is the very basic notion cultivating childhood's mind. As we are growing up, it changes a bit where universities do not guarantee bright future. Mark Zukenberg, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates have made it possible. However, still, they live in a developed country in which the opportunity is widely present. Then, everything seems to be different in Egypt. The general concept is not the rule. This country is not a developed country, a third world it is. Bad economy, corrupt leaders, trashes and homeless are everywhere. Being physically, mentally or even sexually insulted is not a weird stuff to hear. To list all the negative things present here is to consume a lot of time. Despite all these anti-developing factors, the products come from this country are completely otherwise. Nobel price winners ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Yesterday was an outing day. Riding Mojahed, my bike, with Radzi to some places around Fustat and Muqattam. These places are also called Masr Qadeema or Old Egypt for the centre of old Egypt civilisation was here, especially during the time of Islamic empire. Going through these places is just like going to hundred years before. It gives the sense of pride as Islamic empire at that time was strong and being respected by others. On the contrary, nowadays, everthing seems to be the opposite. However, the light is being enlightened by the people who have the spirit of returning Islam back to the pinnacle where it used to be. Al-Imam As-Syafie Mosque near Sayyeda Aisha Mosque was our first resort. Having Asar prayer there, we went visiting the  maqam of Al-Imam As-Syafie. As expected, we saw many unwanted rituals that were completely against the genuine teaching of Islam. Crying, throwing papers, money and even pictures. What more astonished me ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم To differ in inevitable. Never in history is a society void of ideological or any clashes. In fact, one of His signs or ayat is the creation of human with different types, colors, races and languages. "I beg to differ" is a very common phrase we hear or even use. It is just too hard to agree on everything, and we are not asked to agree on everything. Sometimes it is easier to agree to disagree than the opposite. The clashes in a way, help us improving and reviewing ourselves. Without critics and opposite comments, we never see the hidden bad sides and will always being syok sendiri with false achievements. In another way, it introduces us to new people. Should the clash not happen, we would not get acquainted with them. However, not all disagreements are good. Some may divide the society in a negative way, especially when the disagreement or critics arise from hatred and detastation. These kind of critics are away from the signs that we said in...

بسم الله الرحمن الحيم To think and to work. Many can work but not too many can think. Working based on guidelines given is much simpler than to think about works that should be done afterward. To build a guy who can think is the hardest. Let's have an example. Sometimes we may spend huge amount of money for a highly prestiged program in a beautiful hall with thousands of audiences. It is undoubtly amusing to work for and to attend the program. However, the most dangerous and worrying part is when we assume the program itself is the target so that we will always want to make the program of the same type again and again in the future without consciously aware the very essential reasons beforehand. Although not everyone needs to play the role to think thoroughly regarding many things, a group or two, at least, are needed so as to make sure the survival of this al-fikrah al-a'la .

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Question is a sign of thinking. When there is  a question, we know that the person is thinking. How do we get the answers for all questions run in mind? The best reply is to seek the answer in its most authentical source. If it is related to medicine, go to a doctor. If it is a question about fiqh , go ask an ustaz. So does for other field. However sometimes, the source cannot be identified for no reason. The time when you recieve a question which you should answer, you just cannot do so. You do not have the answer. And the situation is not just as easy as refer the question to others but it needs the answer from you which you have no idea as regard the answer. People having nothing can only give nothing. Eyes do not see what brain does not know.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم When seeing movies or reading about soldiers and fighters who fight with undisputed sincerity for religion and nation, I always wonder where did the spirit come from. Reading the stories is just like reading a story of crazy people who willing to suffer for others comfort, to be hungry for others satiation, and to stay awake for others to sleep peacefully. This is absolutely not normal.  Nobody wants to be in pain because it is painful. Our body spontaneously withdraws itself when it touches pain stimulus. There is no reason to be hungry for nothing. It is just nonsense, everything they did. However, I completely believe, the desire and willing to be 'insane', are located deep inside everyone's soul. It just needs the reason. Mankind history has perpicuously shown us the emergence of this generation. And they are present everywhere in every period. To be like them is very hard yet possible. We need to stop indulging ourselves, and to ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم This is not fair. My family is having family day in Malacca and I am here thousand kilometers away in Africa seeing their pictures and videos. Hmmm.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Being a fighter, I believe, is a dream of everyone named man. The natural instinct within men's soul makes them always want to be heroes for their love. It lies deep inside the heart and remains dormant until being activated by something or someone. This very unique trait of a man comes with many responsibilities upon their shoulders. In addition to ego, it is very normal to see a guy feeling envious to see his peer being better than him in a particular thing. It is undoubtly not easy to activate it, but when the right time, reason and person come inevitably it will be activated. Once it happens, a totally different person is seen. I have seen a lot kind of heroes who were formerly among groups of people spending their time for nothing clear or absolute. After the dormant phase comes to its end, they transform into superman. Hearing and reading the story of great fighters really amuse me. They were also mediocre persons just like everyone else before...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم The process never stops, the process of getting know people around us particularly the mutarabbi . The commitments they give and the enthusiasm shown should not be the reason to overlook problems they might bear. Regardless the mustawa , everybody has the remnants of jahiliyyah  that sometimes appear in hard times. As the results and numbers are increasing, we always tend to forget the very basic thing we were always doing during hard times. Qadaya , mu'ayasyah , personal talks and heart-to-heart conversations. It really matters. If this initially small problem is not managed early before it becomes more serious, it might be in a malignant stage where the damage has been done. The seriousness of doing tarbiyyah needs to be engraved in the soul so as the usrah would not be just a once-per-week session. Let's do it and pray for the best.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Going to hospital as a patient might be the last choice for me. Maybe it is not a culture in my family to see a doctor, because we have our mom! Or maybe due to the system that more or less causes troublesome for patients to meet doctors. Home rest with good food is a much better alternative. However, last week was an excepted case. Despite seeing a doctor in outpatient clinic is an extremely rare for me, I had an operation under general anesthesia. The 2 hour minimally invasive operation had weakened my whole body from the effect of general anesthesia. Right after waking up from the operation, the whole body seemed to be partially paralyzed, and some difficulty in breathing. I needed to communicate and ask for oxygen mask in Arabic. Haha. What a mess. Then followed by a night in a ward in Department 30 Manial Hospital of Kasr ElAiny. Being with Egyptians was very amusing. They were very helpful and entertaining. Everyone wanted to share their foods ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم We need pain, sometimes at least.  It teaches us how to be grateful. It builds empathy in our souls. It deletes some of our sins. It restricts us from doing unnecessary things. It reminds us to the Creator.  It brings us back to where we should go. حسبي الله ونعم الوكيل

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم When things do not go very well, one of the things I would do is to sit on a chair in front of my table and open the book Riyadhus Salihin with explanation by Ibn 'Uthaimin. One of the most beautiful books I have in my bookshelves. Just search for any title, insyaAllah it will be found in that book. Al-Imam An-Nawawi has collected and arranged Al-Quran verses and Hadith in a very nice way. This is also one of the reasons why I love Egypt. The Arabic language and the books. Everything is there. What is needed is to go, buy and read. I open the chapter of Prayers ( كتاب الدعوات) . The very first verse was from Surah Al-Ghafir verse 60, followed by Al-A'raf verse 55, Al-Baqarah verse 186 and An-Naml verse 62. Reading explanations of these verses was enough to build some tears and to at least remind this rocky heart about the immensity of His mercy. He always hears our prayers. May everything goes with ease.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم This year winter break is one of the 'shortest' break I have ever had. Class has just started while my break seems just about to begin. What a break. Too many unexpected yet significant things happened. A break that more or less shaped and built my maturity. I met several mature guys. One of the prominent traits that can be seen in them is al-haunu(الهون) which means calmness and tranquility. Calm in every actions away from premature decisions. As experience has taught them, rushing never results prosperity. They say ; بالهون بالهون (be calm, be calm) Truth will inevitably prevail. Let time decide the moment.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 2016 is a new year for a new hope to learn and be better. Two years remain before going back for good. Who can deny the pleasure of going back to Malaysia where you can have family and relatives around, and the vast room available to serve the community. On the other side, the remaining time for preparation to be competent enough before jumping into the real situation in Malaysia is being less. To be productive every day is just too tough. It is between happiness of going back for good, and fear of not enough time to prepare.