Life | Notion | Future

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I cannot stop laughing seeing myself few years back. How immature I was in thought and action. What funnier is to see the same features in the juniors. Haha. It is undeniably true that wisdom comes as time passed and experience gathered. The only thing I would miss from my younger self is the eagerness and enthusiasm. 2017 is less than 2 days apart. As the Imam in Bustan Mosque reminded during the khutbah of Jumuah prayer, increase a year in age equals being a year closer to death. It is not a good news to become older. The body cells are becoming weaker as oxygen radicals accumulate. Calcifications are everywhere, vessels become narrower, joints become more rigid. But the most important change is having more responsibilities.  Age comes with responsibilities.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم It is currently 13 degree celcius. Something is obviously missing but I don't know what.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Today's morning class with Dr Hussein, as usual, gave me an energy to complete the rest of the day enthusiastically. He knocked my mind to make me think in a better way, just like he always did. "What is the function of a wound?" No one answered. "To heal. Yes, to heal," " If a wound loses its function, healing may not occur. It is a wound failure," The worst thing to happen in life is when we lose our function, or even worse, we have no idea what is our function. This is exactly what is happening in the world. People has lost their functions. They do what they want. They bomb others. They kill others. They take others rights. They lie to everybody.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Everything is going to be miserable when you have a bad relationship with God. Prayers, Quran, fasting and zikr, each of them has its impact on spiritual building which eventually affects life as a whole. In this modern world, spiritual aspect is extremely being abandoned focusing only on the physical and to some extent, selected self thought spiritual aspects. It is a very good practice to be routinely followed up by bothers or friends so that our realtionship with God can be maintained despite having some problems in the middle of the track. That is exactly the genuine concept of usrah that was introduced by Imam Hassan Al-Banna around 80 years ago. To let our soul being unfed  is very unsafe. Slowly but surely an unfed soul will die. When the soul has died, there is no need for a body as it has lost its function as a home for a soul. What Imam says during khutbah of Jumaah prayer every week is very important. Fear Allah! Fear Allah! Fear Allah! As...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Traffic in 6th October Bridge was just like other nights, not so many cars at non-peak hour time. I was on the way to Hayyu 7 . At the end of the bridge, just before the exit to Hayyu 6, traffic got slower. I overtook few cars while they were giving me signs to slow down. Since I was already late for katibah , I just went on ignoring what they were trying to tell me. Cars after cars till I faced a soldier car escorting a goverment car. As I was trying to ovetake the car, the soldier shouted, "No! No!," I did not have much time to wait that I decided to just go on. With a M16 on his hand, the soldier pointed the rifle towards me. Okay this is too much. I slowed down as they slowly went on leaving me behind. I wonder would the soldier really shoot me if I were to overtook the car?

بسم الله الرحمن الحيم Everyone needs motivation. Usually, people tend to be motivated when others give support and encouragement. Being famous is also a sort of motivation.  Unfortunately, tarbiyah is not the thing many people love. Like the fibers that mostly present in green vegetables. They are frequently put aside in a seperate plate. Many do not realize that lack of this particular component of nutrient may impare stool extraction. When they need to sit in a toilet for hours, then only they fell regret for not having fibers. God and paradise are the pinnacle of motivation, although they are not directly seen before eyes. Just wonder how these people can sustain for years.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Is it okay to be selfish in some occasions? Is it accepted to complain on anything? Eventually, no one needs to answer those questions. Just think and do as you wish.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I have missread this fnal year. It turns out to squeeze me more than I formerly thought. The syllabuses, althought most of them have been thought in previous years, are moving so fast that everyone needs to cover many things in a short time. In addition to some unexpected events, some responsibilities interchange. I always pray for having blessings in my 24 hours time everyday. A brief pause refreshes the dead heart. أرحنا بالصلاة يا بلال Give us comfort by prayer ya Bilal

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم New semester is going to start in two weeks. It is my final year of medical school in foreign land. To express the feeling, it is a mixture of happy and grief. Happy for being a step closer before having an MBBCh, grief for leaving this land soon. Having a glance at what has happened through these five years, it gives me so much memories, good and bad. The plan I sketched during my first year currently makes me astonished for I was being too ambitious. Yeah, you know first year is the time where everything seems possible to achieve. Now, it is final year. Too much things to do, too less time left. That is where the dilemma comes. Where do I need to focus on? If everyhing is done, nothing will be achieved. The fact that this might be the last chance for me being in a foreign land, I cannot waste my time doing things that will not add to my take home supply before going back for good. Finishing job is much harder than starting it.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I cannot deny, that I feel nervous, although it is rare, when having meeting with some people. Be it the best day, best preparation, and most handsome attire, the feeling will still be there. Not the first time but it seems like it is. The only way to overcome it is by going through it. As I have gone through it, the feeling slowly flies away. This is a sign, not yet a diagnosis. May Allah make everything easy.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم During   tazkirah today, the Imam said; انتصف رمضان (half of Ramadhan). A reflection comes into my head. With only half of the month left, will I be able to reach the target I should? Have I really seized the opportunity given in this holy month? When Ramadhan is described as a month of mujahadah, it is a month of struggle. To struggle is not just to increase tilawah or prayers, those are also important though, but to remove unhealty habits and to cultivate a new one. Reading 3 Juz per day while still sleeping most of the day is not a real struggle, or praying tarawikh for two hours while still not lowering gaze. This one-month divine program aims to build new better muslims, which become God conscious and whole-heartedly appreciate the meaning of submission to Allah. This is not easy, so that Allah makes it easier by having this kind of intensive program.  To create a new habit is difficult. May Allah give us strength and stam...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم What is seen or read is not always the reality. The standard given for anything is usually higher than what majority can achieve. Having medicine as an example, theoretical fact in medical books are not 100 percent found in real life or clinical practice. However, it is written as a standard reference. It is termed classic when it meets the standard in books. Sometimes slight variability might be encountered and accepted. When it comes to applying tarbiyah or islah in our own locality, the ideal standard may not be met. To have a good team is not always the case. To be in a good giving-advise-to-each-other environment is also not always available. At last, the real situation is only known by the locals.  For that reason, everyone should thoroughly understand the particular situation they are living in so as not to be influenced by the achievement of other localities which seems much better than us. Problem arises when we tend to literally follow...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Today marks the officially last day of class for fifth year students of Kasr El-Ainy Medical School. This day also marks a friendly heat wave of 44 ° C. As pevious years, this kind of temperature is one of the probable signs of the awaited Ramadhan.  What is left is the last phase of fifth year, the ultimate final exam. With two quite big clinical subjects, Pediatrics and Obstetric & Gynecology, it surely gives different challenge. Despite having so many new complicated things to learn, this year is the most amusing year throughout my years in medical school. Having real clinical exposure really gives the actual pictures of the diseases present in books. Plus, the most exciting part is to deal with patients as in history taking and physical examination to reach diagnosis. Please pray for me, my friends and people out there.  This may be the last, but not the least.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Politics is using a power by one person to affect the behavior of another person. That is one of the definitions. Politician is of course the one who practices politics. Despite having many other definitions, the general use of this single word is usually directed to party-based politics, which is related to governing a country. Being a student and exposedly practicing politics at the same time seems not a good idea, for me at least. To practice is okay but to declare to which side one is in is somehow a quite poor political strategy. As politics is about getting support and influencing others, the very first step is to have good relationship with everyone, friends and foes. Friends may not always be on our side. Foes may help us in any way in the future. If a great wall is initially built, by declaring our inclination, gaining support would not be easy. These people who are having daily routines with us in the university years will be important people...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Being a medical student is really amusing. Getting know about human bodies is one of the best things I ever experience in life. No wonder Al-Imam As-Syafie claimed medicine as one of the most important branches of knowledge. In fact, advancement of medical care is always associated with better development of a country as it serves better quality of life. Medical practitioners deal directly with human being. They talk, communicate, touch, examine and even open human bodies. Communication is inevitable, it is a part of daily routines, so as improving communication is obliged for every medical practitioners especially doctors. A medical student who does not give reasonable effort to improve communication skills cannot be accepted. It is completely unethical to touch someone, especially involving private areas, when the patient is not feeling comfortable with the doctor. The patient has no choice that he needs to be examined but the doctor should make the pa...

بسم الله الرحمن الريم I always thought I have understood the basic concept of life. From childhood, we are taught to study, be diligent and get good marks to have a good future. This is the very basic notion cultivating childhood's mind. As we are growing up, it changes a bit where universities do not guarantee bright future. Mark Zukenberg, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates have made it possible. However, still, they live in a developed country in which the opportunity is widely present. Then, everything seems to be different in Egypt. The general concept is not the rule. This country is not a developed country, a third world it is. Bad economy, corrupt leaders, trashes and homeless are everywhere. Being physically, mentally or even sexually insulted is not a weird stuff to hear. To list all the negative things present here is to consume a lot of time. Despite all these anti-developing factors, the products come from this country are completely otherwise. Nobel price winners ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Yesterday was an outing day. Riding Mojahed, my bike, with Radzi to some places around Fustat and Muqattam. These places are also called Masr Qadeema or Old Egypt for the centre of old Egypt civilisation was here, especially during the time of Islamic empire. Going through these places is just like going to hundred years before. It gives the sense of pride as Islamic empire at that time was strong and being respected by others. On the contrary, nowadays, everthing seems to be the opposite. However, the light is being enlightened by the people who have the spirit of returning Islam back to the pinnacle where it used to be. Al-Imam As-Syafie Mosque near Sayyeda Aisha Mosque was our first resort. Having Asar prayer there, we went visiting the  maqam of Al-Imam As-Syafie. As expected, we saw many unwanted rituals that were completely against the genuine teaching of Islam. Crying, throwing papers, money and even pictures. What more astonished me ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم To differ in inevitable. Never in history is a society void of ideological or any clashes. In fact, one of His signs or ayat is the creation of human with different types, colors, races and languages. "I beg to differ" is a very common phrase we hear or even use. It is just too hard to agree on everything, and we are not asked to agree on everything. Sometimes it is easier to agree to disagree than the opposite. The clashes in a way, help us improving and reviewing ourselves. Without critics and opposite comments, we never see the hidden bad sides and will always being syok sendiri with false achievements. In another way, it introduces us to new people. Should the clash not happen, we would not get acquainted with them. However, not all disagreements are good. Some may divide the society in a negative way, especially when the disagreement or critics arise from hatred and detastation. These kind of critics are away from the signs that we said in...

بسم الله الرحمن الحيم To think and to work. Many can work but not too many can think. Working based on guidelines given is much simpler than to think about works that should be done afterward. To build a guy who can think is the hardest. Let's have an example. Sometimes we may spend huge amount of money for a highly prestiged program in a beautiful hall with thousands of audiences. It is undoubtly amusing to work for and to attend the program. However, the most dangerous and worrying part is when we assume the program itself is the target so that we will always want to make the program of the same type again and again in the future without consciously aware the very essential reasons beforehand. Although not everyone needs to play the role to think thoroughly regarding many things, a group or two, at least, are needed so as to make sure the survival of this al-fikrah al-a'la .

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Question is a sign of thinking. When there is  a question, we know that the person is thinking. How do we get the answers for all questions run in mind? The best reply is to seek the answer in its most authentical source. If it is related to medicine, go to a doctor. If it is a question about fiqh , go ask an ustaz. So does for other field. However sometimes, the source cannot be identified for no reason. The time when you recieve a question which you should answer, you just cannot do so. You do not have the answer. And the situation is not just as easy as refer the question to others but it needs the answer from you which you have no idea as regard the answer. People having nothing can only give nothing. Eyes do not see what brain does not know.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم When seeing movies or reading about soldiers and fighters who fight with undisputed sincerity for religion and nation, I always wonder where did the spirit come from. Reading the stories is just like reading a story of crazy people who willing to suffer for others comfort, to be hungry for others satiation, and to stay awake for others to sleep peacefully. This is absolutely not normal.  Nobody wants to be in pain because it is painful. Our body spontaneously withdraws itself when it touches pain stimulus. There is no reason to be hungry for nothing. It is just nonsense, everything they did. However, I completely believe, the desire and willing to be 'insane', are located deep inside everyone's soul. It just needs the reason. Mankind history has perpicuously shown us the emergence of this generation. And they are present everywhere in every period. To be like them is very hard yet possible. We need to stop indulging ourselves, and to ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم This is not fair. My family is having family day in Malacca and I am here thousand kilometers away in Africa seeing their pictures and videos. Hmmm.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Being a fighter, I believe, is a dream of everyone named man. The natural instinct within men's soul makes them always want to be heroes for their love. It lies deep inside the heart and remains dormant until being activated by something or someone. This very unique trait of a man comes with many responsibilities upon their shoulders. In addition to ego, it is very normal to see a guy feeling envious to see his peer being better than him in a particular thing. It is undoubtly not easy to activate it, but when the right time, reason and person come inevitably it will be activated. Once it happens, a totally different person is seen. I have seen a lot kind of heroes who were formerly among groups of people spending their time for nothing clear or absolute. After the dormant phase comes to its end, they transform into superman. Hearing and reading the story of great fighters really amuse me. They were also mediocre persons just like everyone else before...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم The process never stops, the process of getting know people around us particularly the mutarabbi . The commitments they give and the enthusiasm shown should not be the reason to overlook problems they might bear. Regardless the mustawa , everybody has the remnants of jahiliyyah  that sometimes appear in hard times. As the results and numbers are increasing, we always tend to forget the very basic thing we were always doing during hard times. Qadaya , mu'ayasyah , personal talks and heart-to-heart conversations. It really matters. If this initially small problem is not managed early before it becomes more serious, it might be in a malignant stage where the damage has been done. The seriousness of doing tarbiyyah needs to be engraved in the soul so as the usrah would not be just a once-per-week session. Let's do it and pray for the best.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Going to hospital as a patient might be the last choice for me. Maybe it is not a culture in my family to see a doctor, because we have our mom! Or maybe due to the system that more or less causes troublesome for patients to meet doctors. Home rest with good food is a much better alternative. However, last week was an excepted case. Despite seeing a doctor in outpatient clinic is an extremely rare for me, I had an operation under general anesthesia. The 2 hour minimally invasive operation had weakened my whole body from the effect of general anesthesia. Right after waking up from the operation, the whole body seemed to be partially paralyzed, and some difficulty in breathing. I needed to communicate and ask for oxygen mask in Arabic. Haha. What a mess. Then followed by a night in a ward in Department 30 Manial Hospital of Kasr ElAiny. Being with Egyptians was very amusing. They were very helpful and entertaining. Everyone wanted to share their foods ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم We need pain, sometimes at least.  It teaches us how to be grateful. It builds empathy in our souls. It deletes some of our sins. It restricts us from doing unnecessary things. It reminds us to the Creator.  It brings us back to where we should go. حسبي الله ونعم الوكيل

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم When things do not go very well, one of the things I would do is to sit on a chair in front of my table and open the book Riyadhus Salihin with explanation by Ibn 'Uthaimin. One of the most beautiful books I have in my bookshelves. Just search for any title, insyaAllah it will be found in that book. Al-Imam An-Nawawi has collected and arranged Al-Quran verses and Hadith in a very nice way. This is also one of the reasons why I love Egypt. The Arabic language and the books. Everything is there. What is needed is to go, buy and read. I open the chapter of Prayers ( كتاب الدعوات) . The very first verse was from Surah Al-Ghafir verse 60, followed by Al-A'raf verse 55, Al-Baqarah verse 186 and An-Naml verse 62. Reading explanations of these verses was enough to build some tears and to at least remind this rocky heart about the immensity of His mercy. He always hears our prayers. May everything goes with ease.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم This year winter break is one of the 'shortest' break I have ever had. Class has just started while my break seems just about to begin. What a break. Too many unexpected yet significant things happened. A break that more or less shaped and built my maturity. I met several mature guys. One of the prominent traits that can be seen in them is al-haunu(الهون) which means calmness and tranquility. Calm in every actions away from premature decisions. As experience has taught them, rushing never results prosperity. They say ; بالهون بالهون (be calm, be calm) Truth will inevitably prevail. Let time decide the moment.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 2016 is a new year for a new hope to learn and be better. Two years remain before going back for good. Who can deny the pleasure of going back to Malaysia where you can have family and relatives around, and the vast room available to serve the community. On the other side, the remaining time for preparation to be competent enough before jumping into the real situation in Malaysia is being less. To be productive every day is just too tough. It is between happiness of going back for good, and fear of not enough time to prepare.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Education is a word with very sophisticated meaning. The Arabic word is tarbiah but the meaning is much wider than just education as in breeding and upbringing. When education is important, stuffs related to it are also important. They include the teachers, curricula, methods and not less importantly the place where the process occurs. If the education of a particular community is good, most surely the condition of the community will be good, so does the opposite. Since the very first revelation as regard an order to read ( iqra' ), it should arouse us to focus and plan our life to fulfill the order. Referring to the method used by our prophet s.a.w, particularly the murabbi-mutarabbi relationship, it seems that nowadays' system is not very close from what our prophet s.a.w has shown. One of most apparent attitudes shown is his very close relationship with the companions. He knows very well what he should give to each and every one of them. Di...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم It is amusing, honestly, to be beneficial and do good things as dakwah, usrah, community services or whatever we might call them. Especially when we have good friends around us sharing the same feeling, being happy and grieve together. It is, indeed, an ultimate satisfaction when we cannot do nothing than only sleep right after going out doing all those things because of tiredness. A worth tiredness I would say. What I mostly am afraid of, however, is the reason behind all those doings. I am afraid that I would stop when there are more 'interesting' things to do. When I have many things to lose. Wife(s), children, jobs, money and family. Undergraduate-study period is a honeymoon period with ample time to do many things. I just need to study, maintain sufficient results and regularly call parents. Not so much to lose. It is not that we do not know the compulsory of doing dakwah, but the abundant of responsibilities, which are also obligatory, ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم They say, technology connects people. They also say, world nowadays is at your fingertips. They also add, world has no more border (actually world had never had borders, post-world war I that created the borders). Everyhting seems to be very close. News from very isolated places can be reached easily, even complete profiles of people we never met can be found. Before all those technologies, did people being apart? Our ancestors were actually really close to each other. So many traditional practices inherited from our predecessors like amalan ziarah , balik kampung and rewang clearly showed how intimate they were. Even without television, smartphone and social media, the relationship and brotherhood between them seemed very good. Since they were not busy with technologies, they tended to interact with nature. To describe something, they needed to do it in words. There was no cameras to show the actual pictures. So then we hear a lot of proverbs or...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Being a rider is not just owning a motorcycle. It is not just driving it, yet more than that. When we own something that needs a quite big amount of money like a motorcycle, we actually put ourselves into a responsibility. The real game begins after buying it, not before that. Every week, it needs to be cleaned and washed. Petrol has to be sufficient. Its oil has to be changed monthly and many more things to be done. So the real life I have as a rider is not just like others typically might see. Only a rider can understand the life on motorcycle. Despite having advantages of going from one place to another easily, and the chance of not being musyrif, all those enjoyments come with risks. Roads in Egypt especially are very unpredictable. Holes, oils, water and sand are present anywhere. The traffic is highly risky. Sharp eyes and agility are must-acquired skills to survive on Cairo's roads. I believe how expert the rider is, he must have experienc...