Life | Notion | Future

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Different thing has to be treated differently. That's why it is called different. You cannot just simply judge someone using a same scale as you do to others. Some people can live with one dollar but some even cannot live with 100 dolars. Justice means to put something in its right place, not equalize everything. Same thing occuring in different situation also has to be treated differently. Many things have to be considered. To treat different things differently is an easy thing. To differentiate two different things as two unlike substances is not easy. You need a lot of knowledge and experiences. Things are not black and white nowadays, they are rather full of colors. If you are color-blind, you will be screwed. Things are just not the same. Stop generalizing.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم You can see many kind of people in this globe. All of them have their own special distinct characteristics. Some are good and some are unfortunately not. Friend is a word best to describe people who are always willing to share common and uncommon things. They put away all the differences and try their best finding mutualities between them. They are not just mere people who you can laugh and have fun with, not only those who always pay for your lunch and dinner.  More substantially, they share the same problems and happiness. Their problems are your problem, not because they are your friends so they have to know your problems yet because their mind and though are just like yours. You don't have to tell everything and they know already. When you see and meet these people you become different, your soul, heart and spirit become stronger. By just looking at them, you can see their eyes filled with sincerity. No matter how far you be, distance never seper...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Nobody knows where he lives but for sure, he will come and meet people annually. He is not too tall nor short, just nice for a handsome guy. With beard and side comb hairstyle, make him a complete package to be a crush for every girl. His presence brings happiness and blessing, not just to people who know him yet also who don't. Before he comes, he will tell everyone that he will do so. Months before he comes, people have prepared everything to welcome him. Several preparations be it physical or spiritual, all are made just to have a good time with him. Some people however don't really mind the presence of him. Before, during or after his presence are the same, nothing different. In fact, some are doing something to insult him purposely. All those things never affect him. He doesn't need people to please him. He will always come although there is nobody accepting him. People are the ones who need him. The climax moment is the time when he is ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Early in the morning at 6, I went to Musallas, a place just after Hayyu Asyir from the direction of Gami3 Salam. Accompanying my friend for his business with ustaz living there, I just realized that I had been there few times before. When my friend asked whether I know the place or not, I answered "no but had heard before" but actually that was a dejavu that came in my mind deep from my previous memory. I had come here before, about 6 months ago. There was the headquater of ikhwah Thailand and I had usrah few times there with my former Egyptian naqib, Dr Fadhil. Currently all of my usrah members are going seperated, some still I am connecting with and some are not. About Dr Fadhil, I wonder where he is right now. I never heard any news about him after the coup. I sent a message to him but got no reply. Anything might happen, maybe he is in prison, or killed during the Rabaa incident.  I hope he is in a good condition. On the way back, I pas...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم For those days we felt like a mistake, Those times when loves what you hate, Somehow, We keep marching on. For those nights when I couldn't be there, I've made it harder to know that you know, That somehow, We'll keep moving on. There's so many wars we fought, There's so many things were not, But with what we have, I promise you that, We're marching on, (We're marching on) (We're marching on). For all of the plans we've made, There isn't a flag I'd wave, Don't care if we bend, I'd sink us to swim, We're marching on, (We're marching on) (We're marching on). For those doubts that swirl all around us, For those lives that tear at the seams, We know, We're not what we've seen, For this dance we'll move with each other. There ain't no other step than one foot, Right in front of the other. There's so...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I know everybody felt the same thing. The worst 3 hour torture in an exam hall. I think the doctors have planned it. The midyear and the first paper were easy but the second paper was crazy, so many first-time-heard drugs.  Pharma has taught me the meaning of life. Now I understand the value of this temporary life that I have lost it. I wish I was a cat having 9 lives. May Allah give me and all my friends success here and in the afterlife.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم This morning while I was scrolling my fb timeline, a link from FJP website popped out with title فيديو التحرش فضيحة شوهت تنصيب السيسي (Sisi's inauguration marred by a video showing apparent sexual assault). The news was actually from the newspaper Times. I watched the video (it's 18SX btw) and had no idea of what was happening. It was happened in Tahrir, just a few kilometers from my place. A girl was surrounded by a group of men (they don't deserve to be men) doing something inappropiate and made the girl naked. I have no idea what did other people there at that time do when they saw the incident. Last week also Egypt's government issued a new anti-sexual harassment law following many cases occured lately in Egypt. I also did read a survey regarding sexual harassment in Egypt and it said more than 90% of women in Egypt had experienced sexual harassment verbally or physically. And suprisingly, I can't believe that I am living in this co...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم My fb timeline today is full of anniversary wishes. I don't know why but it seems that 5 June is a celebrated day for many of my friends and also not be forgotten the anniversary of my second sister's wedding. It was 3 years ago and it was also the only family wedding out of four that I attended. It is a common thing for me to not involve in many family activities. Besides of the fact that I stayed in hostel since secondary school, my relation to my family was not really intimate. The hardest thing in mutabaah amal during I was in school was to call my parents. It was extremely rare for me to merely call my parents for just making small talks. I only called my father to pick me up from hostel once per two or four weeks, "Assalamualaikum Abah, erm hari ni balik wajib, boleh la datang lepas solat jumaat." Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde character utterly suited me. I was Dr Jekyll at home and Mr Hyde at hostel. I didn't tell almost all activiti...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Tonight Sisi's comrades make a noise in the street with horn's sound and waving Egypt's flag while shouting something to do with Sisi. They celebrate Sisi's predictable victory in the presidential election last week. Since my apartment is near to Tahrir, it is often to hear such celebration. Newspapers full of Sisi's picture with oodles of compliments. I had being scolded last week when I was reading a newspaper without paying first, "If you want to read please pay one pound first!" Ceh, I didn't want to read and see the traitor's face and I have bored seeing his face everywhere in the street. In Egypt, newspapers are only worth buying for book wrapper or making a table cover. The contents are sucks. Tonight my head crowded with many stuffs. A lot of things to be done almost alone. I think I need someone to help me doing these things, of course it doesn't necessarily have to be a girl. I can do it alone and it is...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم First question today, "Describe the gross and microscopic features of emphysema" I took my pen, opened the answer book and jotted down the answer happily. But then when it came to the microscopic picture, everything went blank. "Wait a minute, I think I just remembered this thing..." After the exam finished, I asked a girl beside me, "Syidah, ape microscopic picture emphysema?" She made a weird face, "arteries are compressed, walls are thinned...". I know the face showed the question was so easy that I shouldn't forget. How could I forget the damn easy answer. I expected respiratory system would be easy.  Anyway it is over. Thanks to our dean, Prof Hussein for visiting us today despite of his busy schedule. I knew it because he went into the exam hall with a phone in his hand. I am not gonna forget this microscopic picture of emphysema. Several papers ahead. All is well.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم First paper of Pathology is going to be on the day after tomorrow. Final exam will end on 6 July. Five days after that I am going back to Malaysia. This summer in Malaysia is going to be awesome. So please keep on tract. Your comrades are waiting. A lot of things to do, a lot of things to enjoy. Let's have a great life and prosper!

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم The Cadbury-porcine issue has now been very ridiculous. It shows what is the level of our society's understanding in relegion matter. And sadly, their level is almost amature. I never thought the idea of cleaning mouth with mixture of water and soil would come out from their mind, also to do blood haemolysis to remove the remnants of the porcine. More suprisingly, the ridiculous ideas came out in international news. Damn this is so embrassing. They use the name of Islam as if they are fighting for something right. Yet actually they are just cultivating bad perceptions on Islam. With many other provocating issues against non-muslim, the pyramid of islamophobia becomes bigger and bigger everyday. The idea of cleaning with soil came out from them because they understand Islam particularly, not comprehensively. All they know is when there is a contact with porcine or dog, it must be washed 7 times plus one time with soil. They don't know the essence ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Pedantry, or a person who profoundly concerns about every minute details regarding particular things. Every angle, every side, every section need to be explained academically with proven evidence. Otherwise the fact or the study is useless and nonsense. I am not against this thing. In fact, some studies like medicine really need these details. We wouldn't be able to eradicate polio virus if the study of it didn't reach until cellular level and tetanus might still be a fatal, creepy disease to humanity today. Those are the merits of profound study in medicine that we couldn't dismiss nor deny. On the other hand, in some fields, pedantic might be misery. The most apparent field is religion. In such case it would be more to burden the learner instead of help. People may feel satisfied with the knowledge but will eventually make them confuse. I am saying in the context of  person who wants to know about the law of particular matter that is out of...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I don't like to be praised or receive any kind of compliment. It is actually a very great silent killer. Without denying the importance of it, most of the time it is toxic to our soul. If you want to give a compliment to me, please do it far behind me and never before me. I have had many of the toxic praises during my school ages. It was 'great' being famous and respected by fellows. Receiving letters from the girls and name being mentioned by them. At the end of the day, you get nothing. This is not a session of self praising, this is a session of regret and reflect. I rather consider criticism instead of praise a present.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم There were two little Egyptian kids praying in a mosque. I went over them and asked the older-looking one, "what are you doing?" "Praying." "Praying what? Zuhur?" "Yes." "How many rakaat did you pray?" "Hmm. 3." "Zuhur prayer should be 3 rakaat." He smiled. :)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم People when they achieve something pleasure they will tend to share and make others to feel the same. I still remember when I was in standard 4, I won a medal for a marathon running. Just after I went home I was really eager to tell it to my mother and she was very excited to hear that, I think she just made it to celebrate me. Heh. Technically it will be like that. When we grow up, our mind and maturity improve and we have a better control to share things to others compared to a child that can even share his story to an absolute stranger, that has made them cute and talkative. Haha. Sometimes when someone in a high position or grade, he will feel something insufficient in a lower grade person. Then the higher grade person(HGP) tries to 'fix' and 'elevate' the lower grade person(LGP) to a higher level. The outcome is either he will be certainly elevated or unfortunately lowered. If the result is the former, we can greatly thank him but if...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم May is equal to exam marathon and reading medical books intensively. The most important thing is feeling of being a real doctor because only during this time normally students will understand well of what they've learnt in the whole year. Haha. Speaking about the exam, it reminds me to the examination system nowadays especially used by conventional-system university as mine, Cairo University. The system drives and forces students to get the best grade by any means because the only way to have the title 'excellent student' is by getting great result during the exam. No matter how good you are in lecture, only the result can determine your 'excellent'. That's the reality. For me, being a good doctor and an exam scorer are two different matters. A good doctor is not supposedly an exam scorer and vice versa. To be a good doctor is one thing and being an exam scorer is another thing. Of course, there are some things intersected in ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم In the abyss of darkness, I stand up, try to stand still, Fall, get up, fall, get up, And the cycle keeps repeating. Comes a group of people with a new hope, Bringing along crutches, A new strength, A new spirit. With the crutches, I am no longer need the people, I could stand by my own feets, I thought. Termites favour the wooden crutches, Eaten day by day, The osteoporotic woods have no more profit, Left with their plastic arm. Weird, Other people are still standing, With the crutches, Oh, it is fully metal. No room to look for others, Everything is inside, It is me, Either I want or otherwise.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم When you are doing something, please ask yourself why are you doing such thing. You can't just do it without any clear aim. Unless you really want to waste your time. I can't say more if it does. I didn't attend SC last few weeks, more than twice I think. My SC members were really great, they concerned about me and asked me where did I go. I didn't have any answer other than I had some other works to be done. They were not statisfied with my answer and felt a bit unpleasant with my doing. So then I asked him, "Why do you go to SC?" He said, "You have to feel pity to our mentor. At least we have to support him." I don't make something because I have extra time nor never to please anyone. I do because I have to do it. If I don't feel the need to do it then probably I don't even think to have any relation with it. Many people busy themselves to please others. What do they get by doing that? We ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I was scolded by Dr Omayma today and she looked very serious. It was all started when Zofir pressed on my left injured knee, so I responded like I should and that had distracted the doctor. She sharply starred at me like a lion seeing a prey.  "Why are you laughing? Is there anything funny on me? If it is please tell me so we can laugh together. I have seen you playing in class many times. Tell me or I won't continue the lecture," "Erm.. There was nothing doctor, I'm really sorry and won't do it again," "If you don't like my class you can go out, I don't care. I am damn serious about this matter," "Sorry..," The almost same situation I had before with Dr Samira but she was a bit softer. Also, this reminds me to my school era. I made Teacher Zarinah and Ustazah Marzilah cried. It was quite terrible, although it was not completely my fault. Heh. I don't care being scolded by an...